rate_review Reviews

Thank you for a great update. I enjoyed the twist about Harry being the ureasonable one and Ron the friend, it is most often the opposite (Which I don't complain about as I have a severe allergy to the Hermione/Ron pairing, but Ron as a friend, that I can very well live with:-)) I think Hermine made the correct decission to move into the manor, she will want to know her herritage and that is the best way to do so.

'The Friends,' was a better written chapter, although at the end you put Hermione heard her birth parents car pull into the drive when it should have been adoptive parents.

Harry should be ashamed of himself for walking out on Hermione. I'm happy that Ron and Ginny are willing to support Hermione. I wonder what Draco's friends think of the news. I can't wait to see how things unfold for Hermione at Hogwarts.

Thanks for sharing.

I hope Hermione enjoys her stay at Malfoy Manor. I was glad that she told the Grangers that they would always be her parents. Parents are the people who raised you, not necessarily the people who helped bring you into the world. There isn't a rule that says a person can only have one set of parents.

I don't know who Hermione's love interest should be. I know you don't like Harry/Hermione and I'm not much of fan either, but you've already created angst between the two ex-friends and then there's the fact that Draco and Harry dislike each other. Harry acting like a complete prat for part of the school year, then finally telling Mione that he has feeling for her, but she's not having it and he has to re-earn her respect, while dealing with his hate for her brother. idk, lol.

I am Dramione/Tomione fan and since neither of those Syltherins are in the running :( I would suggest Theodore Nott, unless you want to create an original character, maybe a new transfer student.

I like the idea of this story, but you could use a beta and I don't just mean for the grammar. There is necessary description and unnecessary description and you have a lot of unnecessary description which takes away from the flow of the story. The reader doesn't need to know every single detail of Hermione's morning toilet; however, if you feel the need to write every little detail then you need to get the character's feelings and senses more involved in the scene.

There is a saying, 'show and not tell', you're telling more than showing.

Below are a few websites which discuss about 'show' vs 'tell'. I hope they help you, they were certainly and eye opener for me. LOL

http://jerz.setonhill.edu/writing/creative1/showing/
http://foremostpress.com/authors/articles/show_not_tell.html

She should continue to be a Gryffindor. The sorting hat put her in Gryffindor based on her personality traits, and I'd bet you a galleon that the hat already knew she was a pure blood...the hat always knows.

I like Hermione's relationship with Draco; they seem to be having a smooth transition. I like Narcissa, but she really needs to refer to Hermione by the name her adoptive parents gave her. I think it's somewhat disrespectful of Cissa to refer to Hermione by a name that's basically foreign to her. I know her mother wants to get to know her, but she needs respect her boundaries. Also, Hermoine needs to speak up more and stop just going with the flow. It's a bit OOC for her.

The boys were sooo wrong for not writing to her for an entire summer. *smh* I wonder what's going to happen when they return to Hogwarts? I also want to know who her love interest will be and if she already has an arranged marriage?

yes yes yes you made ron the good guy thank you

Hi :) I really like this story and I'm excited to see where you'll go with it. I was really surprised at Harry's reaction but I think that makes your story more interesting, with Ron being able to look past his hatred of the Malfoys to support Hermione. I'm hoping to see Draco maybe confront Harry on behalf of his sister at a later point... personally I think Harry could do with a nice punch to the face. I can't wait to see what happens next!

you messed up on chapter 5 you messed with harry'S character harry is the one person in the world that would not care for the simple fact he knows what its like to not have parents sure he might need time to get use to it but he would never leave her or ron cuase he has so few friends already you need to fix chapter five especially as you said in chapter 2 that harry would probably understand and support her which is right especially after the war and the help Narcissa Malfoy helped in the war and draco did not fight them or become a death eater and this whole time you have made it look like they would get together from chapter 2 through 4 you cant just change that half way through your story please make it right

I was hesitant to read this, as I don't tend to read any fic that is a WIP, but I'm beginning to run out of fanfics that I'll read (well, in the ship categories I like, but that's neither here nor there), and I saw this. This type of fanfic is one of my favorite types to read, so I was all on this.

And let me say that for someone who doesn't speak English natively, your English is really good. I've read some fanfics by people who've been speaking and writing English all their lives and it is horrid. So, yay!

Personally, if you're going to change Hermione's house, I think that she'd be in Ravenclaw if not Gryffindor. But its ultimately not my choice, so...yeah.

She should stay a griffendor, what made her that is her bravery, and stuff. If not then she could be a ravenclaw but I could never see her as a snake!! Lol other then that I like it. It just feels like its moving slow. Like I'm just alittle bored. But I love the concept. Hermione a Malfoy!!!