schedule
February 26, 2017 at 12:00 AM
Please update soon!!!!
schedule
March 25, 2012 at 12:00 AM
PLEASE UPDATE!!!
WHY DOES THIS SITE SUCK SO MUCH???
WHY CAN WE NOT PM PEOPLE???
WHY DOES THIS SITE SUCK SO MUCH???
WHY CAN WE NOT PM PEOPLE???
schedule
October 30, 2011 at 12:00 AM
PLEASE UPDATE!!
WHY DOESN'T THIS STUPID SITE ALLOW US TO REVIEW INDIVUAL CHAPTERS OR CONTACT THE AUTHOR??
WHY DOESN'T THIS STUPID SITE ALLOW US TO REVIEW INDIVUAL CHAPTERS OR CONTACT THE AUTHOR??
schedule
August 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
very lovely!
the pets are finally learning their place!
are you going to use my suggestion about the milk?
the pets are finally learning their place!
are you going to use my suggestion about the milk?
schedule
August 12, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Damn...Harry is done...wow
schedule
August 3, 2011 at 12:00 AM
can you try to incorporate milk enemas?
also, no more Rod, Snape, or Voldemort
old guys are gross
also, no more Rod, Snape, or Voldemort
old guys are gross
schedule
August 2, 2011 at 12:00 AM
GREYBACK!!!!!
schedule
August 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Hmm, I do recall reading the first attempt at this story, and I agree it had too much plot going on with a bunch of characters we didn't care about.
Now, here, you're making it more interesting by concentrating on just Harry and Bella. However, you're doing the same thing you did last time in that we don't get any perspective on the action through the characters. You simply have them acting out various sexual scenarios and forgetting to include their thoughts, their feelings, their point-of-views, which would make the story loads more interesting to read. Give them both a little more of their personality and you just might have something here.
Otherwise, carry on.
Now, here, you're making it more interesting by concentrating on just Harry and Bella. However, you're doing the same thing you did last time in that we don't get any perspective on the action through the characters. You simply have them acting out various sexual scenarios and forgetting to include their thoughts, their feelings, their point-of-views, which would make the story loads more interesting to read. Give them both a little more of their personality and you just might have something here.
Otherwise, carry on.
schedule
August 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
At the moment this just seems like a list of nasty things happening to Harry, since your prose is a bit sparse. I quite like the concept but you need to get more inside Harry's head, his thoughts and emotions to really get me involved in the fic.
schedule
August 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Ok now I get it. Thanks for clearing that up a bit. Will Brian be in this one as well? I REALLY liked him. He was awesome!!!!