AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for The Choices we Make

by SugarShirousa

schedule August 7, 2018 at 12:00 AM

I think u waited long enough to add the next chapter.

As a reader i often look at the end to see if a story is complete b4 i decide to read because as a reader there is nothing more frustrating then to get to the last chapter posted and find a story incomplete and then have to wait for years for the author to decide whether or not to complete their stories.

Looking at the end of the chapter i was curious and decided to read what you had already writen and found i like what you had it was so far original in its idea and its beginning. Now i would like for you to continue. Can u lete know when u update Morningstorm70@yahoo.com 

May your muse be happy and creative.

person MElf
schedule August 2, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Looking forward to see where this goes and what the potion does to Harry.
person tacita18
schedule July 6, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Everything is happening so fast! Slow down a little ;)

The first two chapters are interesting, though too fast-paced. Either slow down the action or write longer chapters. Otherwise everything happens a little too hasty and you get an impresion you are on a marathon and not sitting comfortably reading a story ;)

But overall it's not so bad. Your style leaves much to be desired but it should improve with time :)

You definitely got my interest, mainly because of a pairing, and I am going to read next chapters.
person QueenB
schedule July 6, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 1 I was instantly infuriated with Harry--but charging off like that is typical of him. The whole venture seemed to be going well, however; he actually managed to get away with whatever was in that VIAL (this is the proper spelling, by the way). I am annoyed that he didn't conjure a lid for the thing.
person QueenB
schedule July 6, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 2 You need to work on your spelling and punctuation as well as other writing rules. But the story is compelling for the most part. It's fascinating to read as your Snape putters away in his lab, working with his ingredients, checking for color (ignoring the smell) and testing for results. I'm curious to learn what's happened to Harry.
person Selera
schedule July 5, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Evil holding the next two chapters hostage. I want to know what happens.