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August 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Cruel, Starlight, very, very cruel. You have me cringing with pain at Harry's injuries and the thought of the reactions from not only Blaise and Draco, but also from the other nonmated Drakens - I tremble at the thought. I hope you post chapter 16 soon. Also, could you please explain why Draco was so worried about the book that Harry was looking for in the library?
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August 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
ah damn. Please telll me he snagged the snitch as he crashed and burned. It'd be to embarressing otherwise.
Ginny rocks btw.
Ginny rocks btw.
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August 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Welcome back! Hope your weather's been pleasant. Us N.Americans have been suffering under sweltering heat. But hey, it's summer and it's almost over. Look on the bright side, right?
I just wanted to ask if you've been feeling well lately. It seemed to me that the last two chapters held a different tone to them. They felt a little impatient, a little temperamental, a little "well-if-they-don't-like-it-then-fuck-them". I hope you're not feeling pressured to write even when you don't want to, because I (and I think many would agree with me) would much rather you take your time and enjoy writing this story instead of feeling so pressured to provide updates that you grow resentful.
I don't know, am I imagining this?
Now I know writers don't like to read criticism, but I do have two issues with recent chapters. The first has to do with Harry's interactions with Ginny - they seem very unnecessarily crude to me. Yes, I realize Ginny's little line of questioning was meant to help facilitate Harry and Draco's reconciliation sex, but I don't think it needed to be quite so graphic and intrusive to make its point. All that "we need nice, large strong men to fuck us unconscious" and other assorted dialogues were over the top, they served no purpose plot-wise, and only succeeded in portraying Ginny as a young, vulgar, indiscreet harlot, which I don't think, and can only hope isn't your intention. If you want to imbue Ginny with an innate sensuality and wisdom uncommon for her age, then may I suggest you let her show a little discretion? "Hides practically nothing" has its time and place in every woman, as does the "I'm going to fuck you against the fridge, and you're going to like it". The ability to mix that animalistic sexuality with sensuality and discretion is what separates the women from the vulgar nymphomaniacs. I once read a story where Ginny acted almost exactly like the Ginny you wrote from that conversation, but that story was a PWP, and Ginny was a Knockturn Alley whore. Somehow I don't think that's where you want to go with your story.
The sex scenes before were rather good. Why DID you change the tone so abruptly?
My second issue has more to do with the more recent chapter. It seemed that everyone from Harry to Nasta suddenly decided that maybe secrecy is not so important after all, what with the "Why should such pathetic, human nattering bother him? ... Let the humans say what they wanted, as long as he had his mates and his future chicks, everything in his life was perfect." and the having the wings out in the middle of the Quidditch match where anyone could bump into - even if they can't see what it is they've bumped into - their wings. Why should such "human nattering" bother Harry? Because human wizards make laws that could legally persecute Drackens for being Drackens, and seeing as England doesn't have very lenient laws regarding Drackens and Harry wants to stay in England, the best way he can protect himself, his mates, and his chicks is to keep other wizards ignorant of the fact that he is a Dracken, which is, I assume, why they're going through all that trouble lying about an illness rather than telling people outright that Harry's missing classes because he's in heat. Even if Harry eventually decide to fight the prejudice of England and change the laws as he's probably going to do, that's a serious decision which requires talking to all his mates, making strategies and in case of failure, escape plans. Such a revelation could threaten the lives of all Harry cares for, and I really can't believe he could be so belligerent about such an important decision.
Such actions make no sense plot wise, and I imagine, can only arise as a symptom of your own weariness with the story. Therefore, I send you my best wishes and hope you feel better if you've been feeling down. As for the upcoming plot twist, I only ask that it makes sense, that it's a reasonably natural course of events. Don't pull out a shocker for the sole reason of having one, don't make everyone miserable for the sole reason of making them miserable, and everything will be fine.
Good luck! I look forward to what you come up with next.
I just wanted to ask if you've been feeling well lately. It seemed to me that the last two chapters held a different tone to them. They felt a little impatient, a little temperamental, a little "well-if-they-don't-like-it-then-fuck-them". I hope you're not feeling pressured to write even when you don't want to, because I (and I think many would agree with me) would much rather you take your time and enjoy writing this story instead of feeling so pressured to provide updates that you grow resentful.
I don't know, am I imagining this?
Now I know writers don't like to read criticism, but I do have two issues with recent chapters. The first has to do with Harry's interactions with Ginny - they seem very unnecessarily crude to me. Yes, I realize Ginny's little line of questioning was meant to help facilitate Harry and Draco's reconciliation sex, but I don't think it needed to be quite so graphic and intrusive to make its point. All that "we need nice, large strong men to fuck us unconscious" and other assorted dialogues were over the top, they served no purpose plot-wise, and only succeeded in portraying Ginny as a young, vulgar, indiscreet harlot, which I don't think, and can only hope isn't your intention. If you want to imbue Ginny with an innate sensuality and wisdom uncommon for her age, then may I suggest you let her show a little discretion? "Hides practically nothing" has its time and place in every woman, as does the "I'm going to fuck you against the fridge, and you're going to like it". The ability to mix that animalistic sexuality with sensuality and discretion is what separates the women from the vulgar nymphomaniacs. I once read a story where Ginny acted almost exactly like the Ginny you wrote from that conversation, but that story was a PWP, and Ginny was a Knockturn Alley whore. Somehow I don't think that's where you want to go with your story.
The sex scenes before were rather good. Why DID you change the tone so abruptly?
My second issue has more to do with the more recent chapter. It seemed that everyone from Harry to Nasta suddenly decided that maybe secrecy is not so important after all, what with the "Why should such pathetic, human nattering bother him? ... Let the humans say what they wanted, as long as he had his mates and his future chicks, everything in his life was perfect." and the having the wings out in the middle of the Quidditch match where anyone could bump into - even if they can't see what it is they've bumped into - their wings. Why should such "human nattering" bother Harry? Because human wizards make laws that could legally persecute Drackens for being Drackens, and seeing as England doesn't have very lenient laws regarding Drackens and Harry wants to stay in England, the best way he can protect himself, his mates, and his chicks is to keep other wizards ignorant of the fact that he is a Dracken, which is, I assume, why they're going through all that trouble lying about an illness rather than telling people outright that Harry's missing classes because he's in heat. Even if Harry eventually decide to fight the prejudice of England and change the laws as he's probably going to do, that's a serious decision which requires talking to all his mates, making strategies and in case of failure, escape plans. Such a revelation could threaten the lives of all Harry cares for, and I really can't believe he could be so belligerent about such an important decision.
Such actions make no sense plot wise, and I imagine, can only arise as a symptom of your own weariness with the story. Therefore, I send you my best wishes and hope you feel better if you've been feeling down. As for the upcoming plot twist, I only ask that it makes sense, that it's a reasonably natural course of events. Don't pull out a shocker for the sole reason of having one, don't make everyone miserable for the sole reason of making them miserable, and everything will be fine.
Good luck! I look forward to what you come up with next.
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August 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I don't usually read WIP's, but the summery caught my interest and I had to have a look. WOW! I was really happy I did I couldn't stop reading once I started. I'm really glad you adopted this story. The idea for it was great but YOU have made it even better by being such a good writer. I hope you will be able to finish this, Goodluck with RL and keeping this great fic going! Oh and I like Nasta best I think. ;)
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August 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Awesome chapter!!! The interactions between Harry and the dominant Drackens is so cute i love how he is with the older guys and i am totally in love with all three of them! I can't wait to find out the major twist you have coming up for us I am so excited to see what it is!!!
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August 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
the one who knows how to cook, i think that is max , the one that was sent away right?
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August 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I vote for Nasta! I love this fix so far and am following updates on fanfiction.net. Can not wait for the next update! ^_^
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August 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
You cut off right there??? DX =dies= That was an amazingly well written Quidditch scene. I cannot wait to see Blaise & Draco's reactions. I am also sooo ready to see what happens to Draco during this heat. Should be interesting.
Oh, I vote for Nasta! <3
Oh, I vote for Nasta! <3
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August 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Yay! New chapter! Can i vote again? NASTA AND MAX! or just one vote for each XD
Oh no Harry's hurt, Draco and Blaise are going to be pissed (i feel a tiny tiny tiny bit of pity for the ravenclaw beaters who are going to get fuck)... uh what exactly is the Marmite effect? Nvrmnd i'll just google it quickly and ------ ok wait... what? YOu know what i'll just wait and see. So next chapter or the one after that has to be harry's second heat. I'm still waiting for my Lexin fix...
Eh, very nicely written chapter loved the length of it, hope the next chapter comees out sooner though.
Your faithful reader,
Draconia Lesoto
Oh no Harry's hurt, Draco and Blaise are going to be pissed (i feel a tiny tiny tiny bit of pity for the ravenclaw beaters who are going to get fuck)... uh what exactly is the Marmite effect? Nvrmnd i'll just google it quickly and ------ ok wait... what? YOu know what i'll just wait and see. So next chapter or the one after that has to be harry's second heat. I'm still waiting for my Lexin fix...
Eh, very nicely written chapter loved the length of it, hope the next chapter comees out sooner though.
Your faithful reader,
Draconia Lesoto
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August 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
love the story cant wait to see what happens next update soon ^_^