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May 6, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Very nice. I enjoy your writing.
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July 16, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 7 This was a very good fanfic. I didn't care for Harry's outburst in front of Albus and Minerva; he's older and that kind of childish behavior is no longer acceptable. But the rest of it was more than workmanlike.
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July 5, 2011 at 12:00 AM
All those in favor of removing Renee from the gene pool with extreme prejudice say I. God what a cold heart it bastard.
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July 5, 2011 at 12:00 AM
that little bastard! So is he serious or just shovelling bull. Damn, Sev and Harry were off to a good thing to. If it's real this is going to make things much more complicated.
Oh and by the way. You are evil. EEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. Friggen cliffies of doooooom.
Oh and by the way. You are evil. EEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. Friggen cliffies of doooooom.
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June 18, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I like this a lot! It's interesting, intelligent and you handle the characters very well! The ONLY thing nagging me is a simple editing-thing... the first quotation-mark of every line is at the bottom! I have no idea how that's even done, but it's very annoying to read... it should look like:
"My name is Harry," the young man said.
This might seem like a stupid thing to complain about, but the fact is that, as it is, you don't really see that it's supposed to be a dialouge from the get-go and reading it is like having somone poking you in the arm all the time; annoying and you can't focus on the text. Please re-edit?
"My name is Harry," the young man said.
This might seem like a stupid thing to complain about, but the fact is that, as it is, you don't really see that it's supposed to be a dialouge from the get-go and reading it is like having somone poking you in the arm all the time; annoying and you can't focus on the text. Please re-edit?
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June 16, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Little prick! I wish the slimy little oiker would let go and get a life already... pls pls pls say that what ever darstidliness he's up to will come backk to bite him later (that cow rita too). Harry and Sev deserve better.
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June 16, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 4 Your usage of the English language remains idiosyncratic and flawed in terms of grammar; it also makes certain characters a little strange in terms of characterization. But your story is largely comprehensible.
I am surprised by Renee
I am surprised by Renee
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June 14, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 3 While matters are progressing wonderfully for Harry, Severus is playing it a little too close to the chest to suit me. He asks Harry what he wants but the Potions master doesn
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June 13, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Yep! right here. Reporting! *salutes.
not leaving til this story is done.
Intrieging, I wonder what area Harry will chose to focus on. and Yeah, those to so utterly set them up. Bet on it. ^^
not leaving til this story is done.
Intrieging, I wonder what area Harry will chose to focus on. and Yeah, those to so utterly set them up. Bet on it. ^^
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June 13, 2011 at 12:00 AM
awwwwwwwwwwww.. they are cute!!! They are going to have to find something in common to talk about.