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April 25, 2011 at 12:00 AM
wonderful,wonderful the beginning of a great comming of age story and Dumbledork getting whats comming to him. Love it.
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April 25, 2011 at 12:00 AM
this is very intresting and I really can't wait to see what you have planned nxt please keep it up because this story sounds very good.
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April 25, 2011 at 12:00 AM
err in ch one you mentioned harry reading the paper and getting depressed when it mentioned serious was dead, thereby insinuating that this takes place after 5th year but then in ch2 herimone mentions percy got a job at the ministry there by making it take place before 4th year. and then a couple chapters after that you have percy having a problem with harry's new looks and that he might 'take points' when they return to hogwarts there by making it seem to be 3rd book or earlier. assuming that ch1 one is right you should fix the misleading information in ch2
also if you still have fred and george at school then that is placing it atleast 5th year or earlier, if you are just changing canon and making it that they didnt leave school or they decided to go back the next year to finish then you might want to make a note of that in the story instead of just having them magically be there. if will be less confusing for your readers.
oh, also if they were worried about not doing things until harry was ready i really ondt think they would realistically tie harry to a bed for his fist sexual experience atleast not without any type of discussion or even asking him. after all he could esily have freaked out about that kinda thing after being kidnapped at the of 4th year.
also if you still have fred and george at school then that is placing it atleast 5th year or earlier, if you are just changing canon and making it that they didnt leave school or they decided to go back the next year to finish then you might want to make a note of that in the story instead of just having them magically be there. if will be less confusing for your readers.
oh, also if they were worried about not doing things until harry was ready i really ondt think they would realistically tie harry to a bed for his fist sexual experience atleast not without any type of discussion or even asking him. after all he could esily have freaked out about that kinda thing after being kidnapped at the of 4th year.
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April 23, 2011 at 12:00 AM
You know since I've read how Harry was fascinated with Colin, who is a little feminine at least in the books I had hoped you would make Harry a dominant but I guess I was wrong, well I still like it. Now to my question what pairing are you going to use. If you are going with Harry as a sub I think it would be interesting to have Harry with older guys but not like sanpe or something more in the way of Cedric, Krum, Flint, the twins or anyone else. Just is this going to ba a Drarry story?
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April 23, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Great start. You may want to look at the formatting to make it easier to read, but aside from that I'm looking forward to reading more. Keep up the good work.