rate_review Reviews

Love the first chapters but the last one doesn't seem to fit. Sure you got the right story?

I hate to point this but I am really confused about chapter 5 it seems really out of place

Absolutely love chapters 1-4 5 doesn't fit at all so I'm guessing it was a oop-a-update. Kinda glad you did because I probably never would have found this story otherwise! Please update with a real chapter soon. This is such a lovely piece of fiction. Very unique! Squeezed out a couple if tears on chapter 4. :P I'm such a baby.

*is confused* LET IT BE KNOWN THIS IS NOT A FLAME!!! so it went from being a harry/draco fic to a harry/severus fic? >.< dont get me wrong, i am really liking this story, but the way you started this chapter made it seem like it wasnt even part of the same story. it was very confusing other than that as i said, i really like this story. i mught sugest continuing from where you left the previous chapter, or saying how many years later it is/giving an explanation of what has happened in the time that has passed, because the way you wrote it, it seems like not only has many years passed, but also that like the books there was a second battle or something... but that is only my thoughts~ they dont really matter much in this context^^ they are only friendly suggestions from a possibly hooked reader~ Good luck^^

Okay, so i first want to apologize to the author. i re-read my review and i feel like it was more than a bit harsh. i'm sorry for that. Usually, i'm a lot nicer with the way i state my opinions and criticisms. i have in no way the right to judge how much you've been around children just because of your characterization of Harry and Draco. i'm sorry for judging you on that, too. Now, before you and any reviewers read this and waste your time on getting worked up with something that you don't agree with or doesn't go along with your observations, just remember, this is what I have observed and this is what believe because of what I have observed and learned about children Harry's age. You don't have to like it or read it if you think it will upset you. But i am entitled to my own opinions, observations, beliefs, etc. and to state them if i want to. i also want to say that i'm not perfect and that i don't know everything and that i screw up and say stupid stuff and i get stuff wrong. i always appreciate when people bring the things i'm wrong about to my attention so that i can correct myself. Not knowing something doesn't make me ignorant. It makes me human and as a human i'm still learning and will continue learning until the day i die. i do also have to say in my defense that i have also worked in a Daycare and an elementary school and i've studied a lot about the development of young children because i've always wanted to work with kids who were in pre-school and elementary school. More so in the year following my last review than before that; that's one of the reasons why i'm reviewing again to apologize and mostly just state what i've seen and what i believe. i agree that children are definitely smart. i often feel like adults take for granted all the knowledge they can learn from children. They're minds are sponges in how they soak up information and they have a unique way of looking at the world. And children can be articulate, but not all are. A lot of children are not as lucky as the children you were able to teach different languages to. Heck, i didn't have the opportunity to learn a new language until i was in high school. And my education wasn't bad. It was just normal. And that's kind of where i have a few reservations. The Durselys might not have out-right abused him from what i've read, but i hardly think that they gave him the means to have the knowledge he possesses. Harry didn't have toys or a bedroom, and that makes me believe he probably did not have access to the resources he needed in order to become as smart and articulate as he is. Also, he had not started primary school by then from what i understand from what Severus said when he was talking with Lucius and Narcissa. Now, after being with Severus for a few months and having him teach Harry, i expect him to be more articulate and intelligent because i know Severus would demand it from him. And i've seen that happen in several different stories. i even read a story where Harry was a genius-although he didn't realize it-and he was eleven, and he was so smart he had basically finished the entire Hogwarts curriculum before he was even ten. But his emotional maturity was that of an eleven year old, not an adult. And sometimes then his emotional maturity was younger than that because he had been abused, abandoned, and had to raise himself until he went to Hogwarts. Four years of the Dursely's verbal abuse and him knowing how unloved and unwanted he was by them is going to leave a mark. Especially on such a young child, because they are very impressionable. It's why they act like the people around them and can soak up knowledge like a sponge. They just take everything in. i felt like his breaking down over not being able to be adopted was really great(even if it was actually terribly sad). It showed that it did actually leave some sort of a mark, but those things actually have to be dealt with or they will fester and leave insecurities in Harry that could later on harm his developing relationships with peers, or family members. Or it could even manifest itself in other destructive ways. Plus Harry can be intelligent without being mature. i think it's really more his extreme level of maturity rather than his intelligence that gets me. And i was wrong when i said that 4 and 5 year olds can't speak in complete sentences. They can, but they speak in simple complete sentences. Not the complex ones that Harry does. Children that age break everything down making it simpler. They wouldn't know all the words Harry does unless Harry was a genius and had access to normal or even advanced learning materials. That brings me to the other thing that confused me with your story. Is Harry a genius? How did he learn all the things he knows? What has Severus been able to teach him? When i read your story, the way he talks just doesn't make me think of a 5 year old. It makes me think of a teenager or an adult that's had a lot of training in manners and etiquette and speaking. But that's just my opinion. Please don't be angry or think i'm flaming you(i'm not!). i've spent like an hour trying to write this review(that might be a bit of a ridiculous amount of time to spend on a review, but it's true) so that no one who read it would think i was being rude or a jerk or flaming you. So i pinky promise i'm not. And i'm sorry ahead of time if anything makes you mad about this or if i got something wrong again. i do really enjoy your story and i hope you keep writing. Don't let me discourage you.

Uh... So after my last review i'm probably the last person you want to hear from, but i wanted to say i did find one mistake that i made. When you commented on my review i thought you were talking about teaching kids different languages. Stupid me and my misunderstanding. But it's like 3am, so can you really blame me? haha. Anyways, you can just ignore that part. Sorry about that.

i can't wait to read more

to your lovely third chapter review reply yeah li'l kids are pretty damn smart ever heard my li'l sis' go on about how airplanes work? its like she knows and although i have absolutly no idea how she knows its still pretty damn adorable when she gets annoyed at the "big people" for not knowing this stuff...its also a little creepy

It has a good concept and all, the only thing out of place is Harry's dialogue and some of his behavior. You said in the the first chapter that he is four or five right? and now in the second stating it was only one month later, he talks like he's 11 or older and his behavior made a complete 180. I think if you build up to that then the story will come out really good.

i so glad severus came back. i can't wait to read more.