schedule
April 20, 2011 at 12:00 AM
This is really good I enjoy it so far :)
schedule
February 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM
that was pretty good, and deffinately hot. quite a few spelling issues and word usage issues (doubled words like you had changed your mind about what you wanted to say), also in the first chapter you kept slipping from first person to third person, but all in all, very good. keep up the good work :)
schedule
February 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM
YAY!! First of I want to thank you for fixing the paragraph, now I could read it!! And I love the idea you have going on here, it's fantastic!! I am looking forward to seeing how their relationship develops. Other than that, you have quite a few spelling errors in both chapter, also the use of comas and such. With a little proof reading this can be a great work of literature! :D
schedule
January 27, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Needs proper paragraphs.
schedule
January 26, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Please add spaces between each sentence. Yes, it looks fine in Word the way you have it. It doesn't work as well on their screen. Thanks.
schedule
January 26, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Um, well...there needs to be some breaks between your author notes and the actual story, as well as paragraphs. Maybe the formatting got eaten, but...you should always check your story to make sure it posted right. As it is right now, it makes me want to just skim, and it isn't very enjoyable. I'm sure your idea is good, I just can't get past the formatting to read it.
schedule
January 26, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I would love to read this, but it is very hard to read... could you fix the format?! Please and thank you!!!