rate_review Reviews

Thank you for not giving up on this story and for that update. I am relieved she is okay, even if she is a little yucky at the moment. lol Thanks! HG4eva

Great start!!!

I really like your story!1 Made me laugh out loud several times, hpe a new chappie is coming soon! Thanks!!

Um..I've actually slept with women, and none of them wore a bra to bed. Ever. Just curious.

LOVE this story, thank you for all the time and effort that has obviously gone into it, i hope and pray every time i log in that it will have been updated, please don't say this is going to remain unfinished?!

Thanks
Sarah x

I normally don't critique people harshly but your words "I write books" about your long paragraphs rankled me a bit. I saw you apologized for it but still...it was awfully rude, especially when you can't spell the word nausea and instead spell it nausia. I am not purposefully trying to be mean because I find the story to be well written otherwise. I am just saying that if you write books, then you know that spell check is a wonder.

Also your use of long paragraphs would not be used in actual book publishing. I worked for 5 years as an editor. Just because you write books doesn't mean you edit them properly, that is what an editor does for an author. Dialogue should always be offset into its own paragraphs for a natural flow. You see this in professionally published books all the time. The long paragraphs particularly when written for online consumption can be difficult for readers to follow. I think that is why you were getting that complaint because it made it hard to follow when trying to scroll down a page.

So as I said...your statement rankled me a bit. However, beyond the editorial quality the story itself is quite good. It is one of the more original plots I've read for a while in the SS/HG fandom. I thank you for being original, you find so many of the same plots in this fandom. I hope you don't take my critque as being mean, I am just being honest.

Oh good grief, Charlie Brown. How on earth could you let him drop her like that? But more importantly- reign in your Remus! Dreadful that he couldn't control his laughter. :-p Now...honestly- breaky with the three of them in the kitchens? Dobby's likely to have a coronary.
~CC

She'll be in library heaven. :-)

I have no real idea why, but the two things that made me happiest in this chapter? The mental image I had of his mental imagery of squashing Dumbledore's head was the first. The second, the idea of Severus and Lupin as friends. :-) Thank you! HG4eva

Oh Lord. This could certainly make for all sorts of interesting. And a wolf in the mix to boot. Good grief, Charlie Brown. :-p Now, what next, hmm? An awkward conversation which ends with Remus excusing himself? We can only hope.
~CC