rate_review Reviews

Let me preface the following with this statement:

This is an opinion of your story that is only intended to make you think about the events and characters therein from a perspective outside your own.

On to the review:

I find the idea of time-travel intriguing. The paradox of being able to return to a point in one's history, and - as you've had Harry and Lucius do - assume the role one had at that point in history then move forward, is exciting. What I've noticed though is that you have, perhaps unintentionally, ignored the repercussions of such events. The characters would be affected by any changes made, not just the people living in the time frame naturally.

For example taking a look at Harry:

In Chapter nine you start to have him act slightly out of character for what his contemporaries may expect. While I respect that he has a part to play with them, the arrogance of his statement to Sirius doesn't seem to be something that he could hide so easily from his peers - and certainly not from his professors. To be quite honest, I'm surprised that Snape has not had Dumbledore check into Harry using the Dark Arts or being under outside influence before this point since he has been performing so much better in his classes. I'm also surprised Hermione hasn't said something considering how frustrated she got with his antics in the Half-Blood Prince. Granted, it's only their second year, but she's the top performer in the class, and she's very competitive. It seems that she would have said something to some professor about him out-performing her in every class. The only mention you have of it, though, is the first time in Transfiguration, but then it's just dropped. I don't see Hermione not saying something to someone about it, or at least doing a little digging to find out why Harry is acting so differently from the year before.

Harry knowing so much, and being so good at it, would immediately raise suspicion; he isn't even trying to hide his ability. While I understand that some things, once learned, cannot be unlearned - and doubly so with magic (not performed poorly) he would also have to fail and struggle at some things not to raise suspicion. Instead, he always does well on every assignment, and with the exception of Snape, the professors are immediately accepting of the idea of a smarter and better Harry.

Taking him away from the Dursleys, while it works well for your plot, is also going to affect him on a basic level. A lot of Harry's anger and compassion both come from his treatment at their hands. A lot of his character growth later on in the series also comes during moments with the Dursleys - when he chooses to save his cousin from the dementors being but one example. Taking him away from that influence and putting him with Remus and Sirius as caretakers so early on is going to drastically change his outlook on life. Remember, adult Harry is a product of the experiences he has lived through - and he is changing those experiences.