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June 3, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Will this ever be updated? I really hope so!
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October 10, 2012 at 12:00 AM
plz write more have blaise fuck her
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December 3, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Update!!!!!! Please
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February 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Wow... When is the next chapter coming out? This is kinda funny in a twisted way
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December 26, 2010 at 12:00 AM
update soon please!
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October 5, 2010 at 12:00 AM
More,please
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September 27, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Very hot, thanks.
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August 25, 2010 at 12:00 AM
update please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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August 4, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Oh dear, how do I put this?
Since you may have a nice idea there (I wouldn't have opened your story if you hadn't), I stopped reading half through the first chapter.
I think it's very important to draw your possible readers into the plot, seeing the characters the way you see them.
What I read from your story made a red light in my head blink and a voice scream "OOC!"
Your characters don't act or sound like the ones I want to read about. The typical HP FF reader knows his characters extremely well, and Hermione and Draco just don't feel right at all.
Well, what I wanted to tell you was: Please work on your characterisation and plot development, for your style and wording are just fine.
And please, don't be angry with me for critcising you, I myself have gotten some very harsh words throughout my 'writing career' and, although they could have been said much more polite, I realised that people were right, worked on what they told me and got better - not perfect, but better.
Hugs and kisses,
Syd, who really does not want to offend you!
Since you may have a nice idea there (I wouldn't have opened your story if you hadn't), I stopped reading half through the first chapter.
I think it's very important to draw your possible readers into the plot, seeing the characters the way you see them.
What I read from your story made a red light in my head blink and a voice scream "OOC!"
Your characters don't act or sound like the ones I want to read about. The typical HP FF reader knows his characters extremely well, and Hermione and Draco just don't feel right at all.
Well, what I wanted to tell you was: Please work on your characterisation and plot development, for your style and wording are just fine.
And please, don't be angry with me for critcising you, I myself have gotten some very harsh words throughout my 'writing career' and, although they could have been said much more polite, I realised that people were right, worked on what they told me and got better - not perfect, but better.
Hugs and kisses,
Syd, who really does not want to offend you!