rate_review Reviews

Good gods, hasn't this man learned ANYthing about taking unbreakable vows he doesn't make up the terms for?! And that are never ever in HIS favour, but always about him doing things for others, letting yet others dictate the terms?!

I'm starting to think Severus hasn't changed and matured in the last year (as he seems to believe) but instead become braindamaged and quite frankly, stupid. This is really hard to read, I loathe moron!Snape.

Gripping story! And a rather original plot and post-DH-world you created. I do feel though, like others apparently do too, that Lupin and Minerva are pretty wildly OOC ALL the time.

I wonder why Snape languished on as Order-hostage/-minion/-whipping boy when he fulfilled already all his objectives in the last war, doesn't owe anyone anything, is ridiculed and humiliated by practically everyone AND can't even do anything constructive or useful without magic?! Sounds like a waste of time, energy and self-worth with absolutely nothing to gain for him.
Of course, at the moment in his terrible situation the point is moot, anyway....

Hermione - for all her adoration and attraction for Severus - is surprisingly unsympathetic and lacking basic empathy regarding his situation and treatment... She seems to forget any transgressions and attacks on him immediately as long as the perpetrator is nice to HER afterwards for 2 minutes! And this happened several times now, with various people. Weird. And rather disturbing.

Uhm, there's imo a serious plot hole in this chapter. If Severus LOST HIS MAGIC (or access to using it) there's NO way he'd be able to brew potions successfully! After all, Potions is a magical discipline - and not Muggle cooking with slightly exotic ingredients. So he wouldn't be able to brew for Malfoy, and both he and Malfoy would know this.

Oh great, Severus is getting tortured and humiliated in order to save the live of another child of an enemy who never did ANYthing positive for him while his lover is cheating with another enemy on him! Hermione is despicable here. I might understand a desperate indescretion to take her mind of off worrying constantly about Snape (though she didn't really felt this way here) - but with THIS guy of all men?! She might as well resurrect Sirius to shag him too in order to completely destroy any rest of faith and trust in Severus....

I'm starting to think a swift death might be more merciful for Severus - or, when he survives and gets Teddy out, immediately after leaving all this cruel, traitorous lunatics and the British Isle behind in order to emigrate somewhere else (practically everywhere else must be better!) and never look back.

I'm just reading through the story and I was going to comment at the end, but I found a little logic flaw :D
In chapter 29 : "She squeaked when he roughly hitched up her dress, wincing when he accidentally put too much weight on his bum leg in that particular position. When Hermione tried to speak he took her mouth again, forcing the words to die uselessly in the passion of his frantic kisses. Hermione moaned when another pair of knickers became rags, ripped from her under the ardor making haste above her."
You wrote that Hermione doesn't move her lips to speak, so this couldn't really have stopped her words, right?
Ah, whatever, love the story, slowly catching up :D

I just wanted to drop by and tell you how much I love your story. I admit, I never thought it would get as dark or gory as it has, but when it happened it didn't seem jarring or out of place. You have pushed the envelope, but in a way that fits naturally with the flow of the story. It's very well-written. All of your characters are consistent; they're developing and growing; there are enough subplots to keep it interesting (I really, really loved the Remus and Ava subplot, especially when they finally consummated their relationship...the characters had been fleshed out enough that as a reader I felt emotionally attached to the two). I like what you've done with Lucius, and Narcissa and Draco, as well. I think Draco here is an extension of what his canon character could have turned into had Book 7 not wrapped things up with an epilogue spelling out where everyone ends up. Lucius makes total sense as a megalomaniac and even though you have revealed to us the extent of his shrill, dark insanity, it doesn't seem cartoonish, just horrifying. One last thing: in Chapter 64 as I read the lines after "Kill. Kill. Kill..." and Lucius giving his speech to his dark army...I was instantly reminded of a song off of one of my favorite "metal operas," "Aina: Days of Rising Doom," particularly the songs "Naschtok is Born, "The Beast Within," and "The Siege of Aina." I do wonder if you've ever listened because some of the bits - Torek becomes one with a dark beast, and then lays siege to his brother's kingdom, and orders his dark army to "rip through the maidens and slay the men," but to "leave the castle walls untouched" because he has a "score" to settle with the ones inside that "belongs" to him. If you haven't listened, you certainly must. :-) http://lyrics.wikia.com/Aina. "The Story of Aina" on disc 2 is the narrative version. Also must note: I don't mean to imply that you have taken from another source, I'm just curious to know if it was part of your inspiration. Perhaps also inspired by LOTR (or Wagner)? I am a graduate student focusing on medieval lit, so legacy intrigues me. I look forward to reading more; I'm just about to sit down and enjoy Chapter 65. Thank you for writing!

a douple way mirror would be great for communication (and certain other activity as well).

thank you.

Thanks for the new parts! I hope things calm down for you, so you can get past this trouble spot. I know how frustrating writer's block can be! I am looking forward to where your taking this story! I hope when you said that you can't guarantee that Hermione would stay a good girl, you didn't mean she was going to be cheating again! Maybe you meant her cutting, which isn't much better either! I hope Severus and Hermione reunite soon! I hope nothing happens to Teddy, or anyone else!

This story just gets better and better :) I can't wait to read more!

Well, sheesh! They finally get settled and proclaim their love and you split them up?! This poor couple can't catch a break. I can't wait to see what you do to them next. Thanks, HG4eva