rate_review Reviews

Hello my dear,
This is a nice opening. But, it was Fred Weasley who died. Not George.

First off, you started off great. But you seemed to rush through the story. Take your time, let the suspense build. Show how they could grow to love and accept each other, maybe show how Ron rebels against the idea. You know, let the story evolve and grow.

Ok first try though.

Lady Serin

I know this was your first story, but it seemed that you rushed through it a little too fast. The premise of the house creating the bond had so many possibilities. You should keep this one in mind for another try someday, maybe?

Payap:

This would be so much more easy to read if you would put in some sentence and paragraph breaks. Also, while cleaning up the format, you have stray code through the first chapter.

The house as a matchmaker? This is a very original idea. I'm a little confused, though: I thought Severus lived in his father's house and his father had been a muggle. Also, just one thing you may want to go back and change is that Fred died during the last battle, George was the one that survived. I will be interested in seeing where you go with this.