rate_review Reviews

Yes, I was happy with this chapter. Good work. Don't forget to check for spelling errors. :) So, how many chapters until we get to Hogwarts? Obviously Hermione will be put in Slytherin, I mean she's felt all that power, and she's Voldy's daughter. Cant wait to what you have in store for us next! :) B.

There are grammatical errors throughout, awesome plot and i have been looking for stories like this for a long time... about the grammar i suggest you get a beta ( a person who reads your chapters before they are posted checking for grammar) i have been a beta before and i am available if you want a beta. The grammar does not make the story bad, it just makes the story harder to read through... for instance you seem to mix up their and there, simple mistake but it makes the reader have to stop and re-read a sentence to catch the meaning intended. Hope i helped. If you want me to beta send me a mail at unitedgravedigger@hotmail.com

Ace

You had a great start, but this chapter was extremely rambly. You might try to clean it up a bit.

Well that was interesting. I wasn't expecting the parents that the Order placed Hermione with to be that way, but people change with time. Great chapter. And just to let you know. You are getting better with the spelling and grammer. Nice improvement. I can't wait for another update of this story. Its great. :) B.

i think you should really contiune this story i enjoy it so please hurry n update soon ill be checking in lol

Ok, I think you should continue this story. But can I make a few suggestions? Some of the words are missing. I think you probably do what I have done and your fingers didn't keep up with your brain. Just re-read a few times to catch any mistakes, and maybe make the chapters a little longer. It will hold the readers atttention. And always end a chapter with a kind of cliffy ending. It will leave them begging to read the next chapter.

I'm sorry if I offended you, but I'm only trying to help. I think this has the start of a really great story. Please continue.

I can't wait to see how Hermione acts when she gets to Hogwarts.
:-)
B.

Read ch 2 and 3 and I am loving this story xxx

I realy like what you got so far i hope u contiune to update regularly it interesting keep up pleaze

~much luv
Babymomma

This was a great beginning xxx

I hope you will continue soon...Can you possibly send me an email at my email address when you add to this fic with the story's title in the subject box??

More soon please xx

It sounds like this is going to be a very interesting story. I already have questions brewing in my head about what could possibly happen. So good work.

On a more constructive note. You might want to space in between paragraphs. With it all bunched together like that, it makes it a little difficult to read. You also may want to read and re-read for any punctuation mistakes or grammer errors. That is what I do. (It's ok, if you don't catch everything. Its fanfic for a reason.) A lot of your sentences are run-ons and it will cause readers to have to go back and re-read to make sense of things.

Please don't take this as I'm harping on your story. I think you have the start of a great story. It's just little things that will cause a lot of readers to comment on during their reveiws. I just want to help. Trust me I have gotten my fair share of flames, and still do sometimes. I just try to read over everything 2 or 3 times before I post a chapter. Maybe look into a beta-reader as well.

But other then that, I can't wait for your next chapter. I do hope you continue to write this story. So many other great stories get forgotten. I will be looking for your update. :)