schedule
February 3, 2022 at 12:00 AM
I'm late at the party, but this is INCREDIBLE.
So well written and intense, thank you for have shared it!
schedule
January 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
WD: Just a personal thing, but I'd reword your summary. Ordinarily, if someone refers to their own work in such a derogatory manner, I won't waste time reading it.
"... thoughts creep out of the shadows ..." A very evocative turn of phrase, well done.
"... flame of a candle peaking ..." Could you please change it to peeking? Peak - top of a mountain etc. Otherwise, I like the imagery of the candle's light intruding into Draco's room.
You're right, you're jumping verb tense in places. :P Easily fixed.
Wow, Lucius never struck me as someone who would scream or drink straight from the bottle. Those descriptors really force the reader to think of him differently, as a different person, in these nightly forays.
" ... the feeling is gone, killed in the onslaught ..." nice phrasing
The ending makes me wonder who is haunting him at Hogwarts. Does his father dare enter there? A classmate? Snape?
Interesting. Like I said before, not a pairing I would ordinarily read, but very interesting. Thanks for sharing, PW.
"... thoughts creep out of the shadows ..." A very evocative turn of phrase, well done.
"... flame of a candle peaking ..." Could you please change it to peeking? Peak - top of a mountain etc. Otherwise, I like the imagery of the candle's light intruding into Draco's room.
You're right, you're jumping verb tense in places. :P Easily fixed.
Wow, Lucius never struck me as someone who would scream or drink straight from the bottle. Those descriptors really force the reader to think of him differently, as a different person, in these nightly forays.
" ... the feeling is gone, killed in the onslaught ..." nice phrasing
The ending makes me wonder who is haunting him at Hogwarts. Does his father dare enter there? A classmate? Snape?
Interesting. Like I said before, not a pairing I would ordinarily read, but very interesting. Thanks for sharing, PW.
schedule
December 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Love and hate in the same time.
I love this story, so sad and dark, but beautiful... and hate Lucius but in the same time, i like too much his character even if i belive he really is so dark inside.
Hope you'll write more soon, because i really want to know what's going to happen to Draco and Lucius.
I love this story, so sad and dark, but beautiful... and hate Lucius but in the same time, i like too much his character even if i belive he really is so dark inside.
Hope you'll write more soon, because i really want to know what's going to happen to Draco and Lucius.