rate_review Reviews

Can't wait for chapter 3!!!

Pretty good. The only real critique I have for you is all of the 'I's in all of your sentences. When writing in first person there are other ways to get said character's views, thoughts, dialogue, and feelings across without using that word.For example: (Instead of writing "I walked into the darkened corridor." You could write "as my body moved forward deeper into the depths of the darkened corridor..ect".) Try not to use that word so often, it takes away from the story, and stands out in your writings, particularly if there are more than 5 I's in a single paragraph. Thank you for posting, please continue to update, the story has my interest and attention.

A very good start.