schedule
September 23, 2017 at 12:00 AM
an absolutely brilliant start! i really, really love myrtle as a pairing, please update soon!!! (^_^)
schedule
October 24, 2014 at 12:00 AM
More please?
schedule
March 21, 2010 at 12:00 AM
PLEASE add a second chapter!!
schedule
November 5, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hmmm, well, it's an odd and interesting premise for a smut story.
If I may, a couple suggestions: first, Harry's characterization is a bit uneven. He goes from being disturbed by Myrtle to enamored with her too quickly. There's no real explanation for why he suddenly thinks of her as a potential love interest. This is PWP, obviously, but characterization matters in all stories.
Second, you have a tendency to use Harry's name when the pronoun 'he' is more appropriate. Look back at your paragraphs. If it's clear that Harry is the one performing the action, just use 'he.'
Good luck...
If I may, a couple suggestions: first, Harry's characterization is a bit uneven. He goes from being disturbed by Myrtle to enamored with her too quickly. There's no real explanation for why he suddenly thinks of her as a potential love interest. This is PWP, obviously, but characterization matters in all stories.
Second, you have a tendency to use Harry's name when the pronoun 'he' is more appropriate. Look back at your paragraphs. If it's clear that Harry is the one performing the action, just use 'he.'
Good luck...