rate_review Reviews

I think this is really good, I'd love to read more. :)

Good start though it does sound a lot like another story. But whatever, I always like knocked-up Hermione! Hehe.

Aww its so sad, i want to kick his ass for her.

Hey anyone -
To those who think that they are just a little dumb -
1. Hermione suspected something, but swas mainly trying to deny it, lying to herself if you like, she didnt want Ron to be cheating on her...
2. I think Ron has being trying to break up with her for a while, just not in the most tactful way.
I dont like Ron much, so im kinda gonna portray him as the bad guy.
See the next chapter soon for more details.
xx.
Tk

and i know - Hermione's really smart, Im hopefully gonna Make her a little bit more On-Character next chappy.

This seems to be an interesting plot. The thing is that your characters aren't really believable. They don't seem intelligent and it kinda distracts from the story. For example, the way Hermione reacted when she saw the lipstick. I understand that maybe she was in shock, but the fact that she couldn't piece things together before that moment is what bugs me. Also, Ron's reaction seems dumb as well. He didn't even try to hide the evidence and his reaction was lacking. I guess I would have to see the next chapter to know whether they were intental in being dumb or if it was just because of the events that happened. I would like you to continue though just to see where it goes and if you could up their intelligence a little that would be great. :) Well, hope you decided to continue.

I like it so far. Though even I don't think that Ron would be so stupid as to not wipe off the lipstick or realise that he didn't have his broom with him, unless he was purposely doing it so that she would break up with him...but anyways, please continue. There were a couple spelling mistakes, and the spacing is a bit strange, but it's a good storyline that people always seem to like. :)