schedule
October 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
i LOOOOVEEE when stories are posted in their entirety. THANK YOU!! it was a great short story! I love happy endings =]
schedule
October 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
"dying, of loosing that hope everyone" -losing
"The room was silent, other then the quiet moaning" - than not then, think of 'then' meaning 'later' if you are having trouble deciding which is correct in a sentence.
" laid eyes on the boys picture " -boy's picture- you wanted possessive and not plural here.
"he knew that their was something " - there - spelled 'their' is possessive.
"killed the boys guardians"- boy's guardians- you want to use the possessive here not the plural.
"The room was silent, other then the quiet moaning" - than not then, think of 'then' meaning 'later' if you are having trouble deciding which is correct in a sentence.
" laid eyes on the boys picture " -boy's picture- you wanted possessive and not plural here.
"he knew that their was something " - there - spelled 'their' is possessive.
"killed the boys guardians"- boy's guardians- you want to use the possessive here not the plural.
schedule
October 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
more then acquaintances - than
life of solitary - I would choose the word 'solitude' instead.
life of solitary - I would choose the word 'solitude' instead.
schedule
October 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Before I read chapter three; I just want to tell you that I am very much enjoying your story.
I also like it when a story is presented in its entirety.
I also like it when a story is presented in its entirety.
schedule
October 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I have just finished your story and want to congratulate you on one of the funnest reads I have had in a while.
Your characters are lively and your plot-line unique! Thank you for sharing it with all of us at AFF.
Your characters are lively and your plot-line unique! Thank you for sharing it with all of us at AFF.