rate_review Reviews

I really like the beginning of this story and think you're doing a great job plot-wise so far. The thing that I find in your writing that you need to watch out for is your tenses. There are parts in the story where in one paragraph you go from using the past tense to the present and back to the past...I don't know if your first language is English or not but this is a really common mistake while writing. The other thing that will make me stop reading this story regardless of how much I like the plot, are the author's note INSIDE the actual story itself. At the beginning or the end of the chapter...that's fine, whatever. But when I'm lost in a story I don't want to suddenly be jerked out of it by the author telling me something that I didn't really need to know about what he or she just said. If you like to do that, fine, I can't stop you but I really like this story so far and I don't want to stop reading it. Those mid-chapter author's notes will stop me.

I love how this story is going so far. It kind of reminds me of stuff that my mom and i went through when i was younger.

Thanks for the update. I would like to make a suggestion, if I may. Try not to add comments/authors notes mid story as it can detract from the fic, pulling the reader out of the story and lose the reality of it. If you feel you need to comment on a particular part, then you could leave it to an author's note at the end of the chapter, maybe with an asterisk to denote the part you wish to comment on (like a reference key).

In answer to your question you can bold, italic and underline by the following; start by inserting these before the text you wish to change.

< b > or < i > or < u > (don't put the spaces though, this is just for demonstation purposes) then when you want to complete the changes, on the end word, do the same but add a / like so: < / i > or < / u > or < / b > (again don't put spaces in) and no spaces before or after the word.

will this work on the review section?
will this work on the review section?
will this work on the review section? (it might not work on the review section but it definitely works on the chapter/text part. You can also do any number of combinations such as bold underlined etc... simply put one type the outer and the other type next to it as the inner.
like
will this work in the review sections?

Hope this helps you. :)

another lovely chapter, i cant wait for the next update. I wonder what Blaise is up to and if he's gone to see Narcissa yet? I feel as though hes got something brewing in the background. I'm guessing that if Narcissa's under house arrest is Lucius still locked up in azkaban? I'm also glad that you kept Remus and Tonks alive. well update soon i cant wait for another chapter!

awww that was sweet poor draco

very good for a first time fic. you could use a beta. but other than a few typing errors and such, it's absolutly great!

pretty good chapter although i felt it was a little rushed, especially draco's comfortable attitude with harry. some of the consistency in characterizations were lost. while i get the out-of-school thing, i felt like the wariness should have been more prominent, especially give the premise of their meeting. then again, that is just me. :D on the other hand, i find the story building up in terms of relationships and characters. the premise for grimmauld place being used as a safe house was well-justified and touched on the resolution harry felt with finding purpose in using the house. i like the use of code names and am looking forward to the lifestyle offered at his safe house. the kids seemed pretty happy. also, loved the thing about the family tree - i find it touching especially the line about it being what sirius would have wanted. :)

As a person who entered one of these homes, I'm impressed you described Draco's reactions so well. It's a interesting story and concept. Looking forward to more.

Sorry I didn't leave a review yesterday. Anyway, I love this fic. I can't wait for more. I see how you acknowledged all the reviewers names at the beginning of this chapter. I don't think that will last long...you are gonna get a HELL of a lot of reviews for this fic. It'll read like a bloodly honour roll before you know it!

hmmm well then this is interesting. let's see more