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August 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hi again. I was re-reading your story, because it draws me in so well. I wanted to re-iterate how interesting and well-done your plot and characters are.
However, I noticed some spelling mistakes, mainly where you use a word that sounds correct, but means something else.
Examples:
-"If you feel and righted yourself...", I think you mean 'fell' instead of 'feel'
-"now that our lives our connected by an unbreakable bond", I think the second 'our' should be 'are'
-"well in you world anyways", should be 'your world'
-"And your welcome for the charm", should be 'you're', as in the contracted form of 'you are'
-"tone it down a bit and try a mimic my old way...", I think you mean 'try to mimic' or 'try and mimic'
-"He preformed the three forbidden curses" should be 'performed'
Other mistakes are where you miss a word:
-"I would have asked you resign", it should be 'you to resign'
-"once you have matured you be beautiful", should be 'you will be beautiful'
I'm sorry if it sounds like I am overly critical, these are just small mistakes, but they are distracting sometimes, or momentarily confusing. Maybe take a few days after you write it, and re-read it. Often, because you know what you want it to say, you see it as it should be, not as it is. That happens to me often. I really like your writing, though, and your imagination.
I also have a question, or a remark, rather. Since the Traveler can't be killed when he resides in another's body, is the body he is in now, on his way to St. Louis, his real body? Has Harry ever seen his real body?
Thanks again to both of you for such an excellent story! I enjoy how Harry's letters were rambling, like a teenagers, and the Traveler's are shorter, more to the point, and sound more mature. They offer the readers a glimpse of how their relationship developed. I am hopeful you will continue your story, and am excited to read more.
However, I noticed some spelling mistakes, mainly where you use a word that sounds correct, but means something else.
Examples:
-"If you feel and righted yourself...", I think you mean 'fell' instead of 'feel'
-"now that our lives our connected by an unbreakable bond", I think the second 'our' should be 'are'
-"well in you world anyways", should be 'your world'
-"And your welcome for the charm", should be 'you're', as in the contracted form of 'you are'
-"tone it down a bit and try a mimic my old way...", I think you mean 'try to mimic' or 'try and mimic'
-"He preformed the three forbidden curses" should be 'performed'
Other mistakes are where you miss a word:
-"I would have asked you resign", it should be 'you to resign'
-"once you have matured you be beautiful", should be 'you will be beautiful'
I'm sorry if it sounds like I am overly critical, these are just small mistakes, but they are distracting sometimes, or momentarily confusing. Maybe take a few days after you write it, and re-read it. Often, because you know what you want it to say, you see it as it should be, not as it is. That happens to me often. I really like your writing, though, and your imagination.
I also have a question, or a remark, rather. Since the Traveler can't be killed when he resides in another's body, is the body he is in now, on his way to St. Louis, his real body? Has Harry ever seen his real body?
Thanks again to both of you for such an excellent story! I enjoy how Harry's letters were rambling, like a teenagers, and the Traveler's are shorter, more to the point, and sound more mature. They offer the readers a glimpse of how their relationship developed. I am hopeful you will continue your story, and am excited to read more.
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August 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Awesome start,loved the way you went through the cannon parts without rehashing them while still showing what had happened.
looking forwards to more.
looking forwards to more.
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August 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Excellent start
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August 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Love it! I can't wait to read more. This was a very interesting beginning, and I have a feeling it is about to get more so.
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August 28, 2009 at 12:00 AM
wow that was one hell of a long prologue :P but I quite enjoyed it. please write more :)
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August 28, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Love the story please update soon, this is one of the best crossover I have read and there is only one chapter so I know will just get better.
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August 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
OMG!!!! That was a totally awesome chapter!!! I loved it.
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August 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I really like it so far. I haven't actually ready any Anita Blake stories yet, but have read a few other crossovers with Harry Potter (before they got banned from ff.net) and I really like this so far and can't wait to read more (must find 1st anita blake book...)
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August 25, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Interesting. I really like what you have so far. I think it is a great start for an amazing story. I hope you are able to update soon.
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August 25, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I like it. It has a different take to the Harry Potter/Anita Blake style...and believe me I've read a lot of them. Well anyway I will be eagerly awaiting and praying that you do continue this story. I like how he is related to the Travler and how he is his animal to call.If I'm right then Anita Blake series it would about Blood Noir. I think(oh well if I'm wrong then I'm wrong)? If you continue the story then will the chapters be as long cause its a really nice change! I wonder how Richard will respond to Harry being in town? Well anyway so far I like the story a lot and am routing that the story continues!