rate_review Reviews

Why bluff when you can set the whole damn deck of cards on fire? For once I'm actually glad to see Albus show up for a Wizengamot meeting!Nice one, hon.

I am really enjoying the story so far. Don't listen to anyone who tries to flame you. I do think you could put in more of the inner thoughts and feelings of the characters, but all in all, you are doing a great job! Update soon

OK, vast improvement on the fourth chapter. It's strange. It's like an adult stepped in and took over the story. The first three chapters are vague and very non-descriptive but this chapter is much better. Well done for getting a bit serious on making the story more readable and nice description and dialogue. Still a little sketchy on description of the places though. I know she was in front of the Wizengamot (watch your spelling of place names, Wizengamot not Wizmogot)but I'd have loven to see a bit more on atmosphere or just generalised description of what everything looked like. A brief example; if Kingsley is the head of the Wizengamot, then I'm nearly sure he'd be high up in his seat like Fudge was, which would make it very hard for Hermione to look at him eye to eye. But all 'round improvement, so well done.

Wolf

ch 3: Maybe elmer forgot the "ly good" part. Its a great story.

4. Great chapter. I love that you had Albus as a suprise.

Rise up by woodstock?

I'm with Wolfsoul. Vast improvement in chapter 4. The first 3 chapters came across as more of a brief sketch of how your story would go. I would like to see you go back and flesh it out more and fill in the blanks. You have potential and a very interesting story.

I love the story so far,and glad your back.sorry I'm so tired that I can't think of the song.Good ol'Hermione out to save the world one wizard at a time.lol.

I am enjoying this story, but I just can't wrap my mind around this particular Ginny. Oftentimes, an author makes her irrational if it will end up as a HP/HG story, as a way of getting rid of her, but as this is a HG/SS story, there does not seem to be much reason for her extreme irrationality. I wonder if there is some greater reason for her actions, or if you have just written her as a juvenile twit. Looking forward to see how she develops, although if she is just going to be annoying everyone the whole time, that could get tiring quickly.

The song is Linkin Park's "In the End". Love them and am looking forward to more!

Sorry don't know the answer to the review sing-a-long. Will probably kick myself when the answer is revealed.

I like the concept behind the story; a lot of people died in HP that shouldn't have and I like the notion of those folks getting a new lease on life, and Hermione being the one to give it to them, not just the brains behind the hero, so to speak.

Only downside is that the story doesn't quite flow for me. It feels like it needs to be fleshed out a bit more with a more in-depth description of place/time/characters/etc. I don't suggest waxing poetic about the tiniest detail down to the last curl of hair on Hermione's.... head.. *ahem* but scene and setting description thusfar have tended to be so brief that once or twice I was a bit confused as to what was going on (although that could be just me, as on long work-days I tend to be easily confused by day's end) To me, it almost reads like an online role-play session. There isn't a thing wrong with that if that is the case; have been involved in role-plays turned written stories, myself. Just needs filled out more to give it a bit more depth and clarity.

Please don't take this as a flame; I do like the story concept and look forward to future chapters... also wanting to know the answer to the sing-s-long!

Story is coming along nicely. I'm interested in the outcome, and your updates are frequent (a huge plus). That's Linkin Park, yeah? It doesn't even matter how hard I try (...) "In the end" right? Had to mentally go through the lyrics 'till I reached the chorus, lol.