rate_review Reviews

You need to take a look at the formatting of your first chapter on this site. Chapter two is normal, but the first one seems strange, due to the lacking paragraphs and the opening between every line, also some sentences are unfinished in one line (are abruptly broken off, I don't know how to word it correctly) and then continue in the next line.

This can scare potential readers away, which is sad, because this is a good story. Also watch out with the length of some of your paragraphs, try to keep it at max of about six lines, otherwise the bulk of text can become too troublesome to read online.

Other than this I just have to say, I love this story. It's very entertaining and you're great with the awkward scenes as well as with the humour. It's not often I can laugh out loud while reading fanfiction. So thank you for that.

Keep up the good work.

PS. I read your AN. Why not post the story on both sides?

I know FFnet gets more traffic, but some readers that come here, don't read there.

If it's the formatting, that's causing you problems here (scaring you away), PM me on my FFnet account, I am more than willing to help you out with it, so you can keep posting here. Trust me, FFnet is not everything either. Their censorship is rather bothersome.

I would love to see a new chapter.

Love the story but OVERLOAD of words... make sure to skip lines because it's hard to read on the computer something this physically dense.

When shall I expect your next update?? I'm waiting rather impatiently.