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February 16, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Poor Draco!!! Sooooo need chapter 8!!!
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January 20, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Sooooo need chapter 7!!!
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October 18, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Soooo need chapter 6!!!
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July 6, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Soooo need chapter 5!!! Harry seems on the right track!
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July 6, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 4: Like I said before, this story has great potential, but it needs to be cleaned up.
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July 5, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This is a good start, however, you might want to spread out your paragraphs a lot more. You also have a lot of run-on sentences. Look for places to put punctuation. Getting a good beta will help too. Also, check here for tons of fic-writing help: http://kamerreon.livejournal.com/. Kay is one of the best writers I know and her LiveJournal has a very good help-list for would-be writers. Check it out and good luck with this story.
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July 5, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 2 Review: Your spacing is a LOT better. There are still quite a few spelling errors, but there's been a decent amount of improvement. I like how they're reconsidering their decision because of all the interruptions. People expect them to fight, not snog. So they're getting a reality check that nicely balances out the rapid decision to become a couple. Be back after the next chapter.
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July 5, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 3: OOOhhh...plot development! I like the idea that it may be something outside of the boys that might be pushing them together, but it's left ambiguous enough for it to be anything. It could be that their soul mates, or they might have been cursed, or any other kind of influence. Still a lot of spelling problems (one of the most common mistakes is your spelling of Slytherin; there's no 'e' on the end).
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June 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
interesting...very interesting
Looking forward to more. What's happening with the boys? Hope the explanation comes soon! Update soon please!! : )
Looking forward to more. What's happening with the boys? Hope the explanation comes soon! Update soon please!! : )
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June 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Interesting! Can't wait for chapter 4!!!