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July 11, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Well, you definitely got my tastes closely matched! "Secretary" is one of my all-time favourite films and Snape is my greatest passion. (I roleplayed an OC with a Maggie Gyllenhaal PB for years who got to be Snape's sub and eventual wife, so I just had to read this. Said Snape player is now my life partner!) All that is to say, great fic and great premise!
As for criticisms, I think a beta-reader would really help your writing. It's much easier to find the errors if there's another person pointing them out. And there were a few bits that weren't my thing. Mostly he seemed a bit more Movie!Snape than Canon!Snape, but I don't hold it against you. Other than that, it was a lot of fun to read. Very yummy! If you add more, I will certainly make sure to read it. Thanks for posting it.
As for criticisms, I think a beta-reader would really help your writing. It's much easier to find the errors if there's another person pointing them out. And there were a few bits that weren't my thing. Mostly he seemed a bit more Movie!Snape than Canon!Snape, but I don't hold it against you. Other than that, it was a lot of fun to read. Very yummy! If you add more, I will certainly make sure to read it. Thanks for posting it.
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March 9, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I'm enjoying what you've got so far! Quite good scenes, and I can imagine him doing something like this. His student is quite an odd girl. I want to see how far you can take this, or at least how far it goes. ^.^ A very enjoyable read.
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December 16, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I actually thought it was great; I think you preserved Snape's demeanor very well, he didn't seem not one bit out of character !
I look forward to the other chapters
5/5
I look forward to the other chapters
5/5
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November 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
WOW!!! I really never read fics with an original character but this is pure FIRA!!! I loved every min of it! you write very well. Plz say you will update soon??
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November 2, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I hope you continue. Yasmin is such a naughty girl!
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August 19, 2009 at 12:00 AM
that was sooo hott! Pls continue it!
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July 22, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I like the story a lot, I do hope you update. As I read through the two chapters...it sort of feels like your holding back and not coming up to your full potential and the stories just don't seem "original" it lacks something...Otherwise very good job and I hope you update you seem to get better and better with every chapter.
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July 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Yes, I can see the Secretary film resemblance. Nicely done. Too bad Snape wants to restrain himself from having with his student, Yasmin.
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July 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
the second chapter was so much better. You said you want suggestions so I suggest that you don't try to copy "Secretary" film anymore. I thought that was funny how she spelt Slytherin wrong. And Yasmin's defiance in the beginning was also oddly amusing. I think you should continue. It was very hot
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June 21, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Nice tension! I look forward to seeing this progress.