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June 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
best lines:
She fumed at his insolence, at his pure nerve to act like she was “making a scene”. What a jerk! How had she stayed married to him for five years? She deserved a trophy at least!
Well, if he wanted ostentatious, he was going to get it.
“That’s a very kind thing for you to do,” she commented.
“I have more than enough. Someone taught me the gift of giving and I expect to make the best of it.”
She met his steely gaze from the front steps, his wine glass in hand. He looked surreal standing there in nice clothes with the pearlescent house ablaze with lights behind him. And here she was, in a dress she could never afford in three lifetimes, standing shin-deep in the Sea of Crete looking up at him.
She fumed at his insolence, at his pure nerve to act like she was “making a scene”. What a jerk! How had she stayed married to him for five years? She deserved a trophy at least!
Well, if he wanted ostentatious, he was going to get it.
“That’s a very kind thing for you to do,” she commented.
“I have more than enough. Someone taught me the gift of giving and I expect to make the best of it.”
She met his steely gaze from the front steps, his wine glass in hand. He looked surreal standing there in nice clothes with the pearlescent house ablaze with lights behind him. And here she was, in a dress she could never afford in three lifetimes, standing shin-deep in the Sea of Crete looking up at him.
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June 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
best lines:
“No, you’re right. It doesn’t. That’s why I’m not going to take it any longer. I have to do this. No matter how hard it will be I can’t live my life this way, always feeling second rate. For once in my life I’m going to put myneeds first. If you can’t forgive me, Ginny, I’ll understand. I know he’s your brother-,”
“And he’s a right git! I’ve been telling him to dump that bimbo for months! I’ll flay him to within an inch of his life for putting you through this. Fool. You do deserve better, Hermione. You deserve to be loved by someone who will be there for you more than my prat of a brother.”
“No, Ron, I don’t think you can. Not until you’ve cooled down a bit,” Harry said calmly.
“Ron, you shattered those vows long ago. They are now null and void. I shall do as I please and it pleases me to leave. I’m sorry it didn’t work out but that was your fault, not mine.”
Yes, it took us both to agree to this relationship but I blindly built it alone. You destroyed it. I can’t help if I did not please you, but that was no reason for you to turn to others. What you did was sick and deceitful. I will not forgive you and I will not live my life with someone like you. I deserve better.”
“Well, I’m sure your very personal assistant can assist you in court.
“I know, Hermione I said I was sorry-,”
“It’s not good enough, not this time. Leave, Ron. Just leave. Now.”
She cried harder than she ever had in her life, in a silky blue dress, crumpled on a staircase clutching a wooden railing.
(Ah... scenes of fourth year... it's her fault for falling for a worthless fool... and Rowling's fault for telling all of us that the reward for Hermione Granger was a lifetime shackled to someone who could emotionally abuse her and destroy her spirit.)
“No, you’re right. It doesn’t. That’s why I’m not going to take it any longer. I have to do this. No matter how hard it will be I can’t live my life this way, always feeling second rate. For once in my life I’m going to put myneeds first. If you can’t forgive me, Ginny, I’ll understand. I know he’s your brother-,”
“And he’s a right git! I’ve been telling him to dump that bimbo for months! I’ll flay him to within an inch of his life for putting you through this. Fool. You do deserve better, Hermione. You deserve to be loved by someone who will be there for you more than my prat of a brother.”
“No, Ron, I don’t think you can. Not until you’ve cooled down a bit,” Harry said calmly.
“Ron, you shattered those vows long ago. They are now null and void. I shall do as I please and it pleases me to leave. I’m sorry it didn’t work out but that was your fault, not mine.”
Yes, it took us both to agree to this relationship but I blindly built it alone. You destroyed it. I can’t help if I did not please you, but that was no reason for you to turn to others. What you did was sick and deceitful. I will not forgive you and I will not live my life with someone like you. I deserve better.”
“Well, I’m sure your very personal assistant can assist you in court.
“I know, Hermione I said I was sorry-,”
“It’s not good enough, not this time. Leave, Ron. Just leave. Now.”
She cried harder than she ever had in her life, in a silky blue dress, crumpled on a staircase clutching a wooden railing.
(Ah... scenes of fourth year... it's her fault for falling for a worthless fool... and Rowling's fault for telling all of us that the reward for Hermione Granger was a lifetime shackled to someone who could emotionally abuse her and destroy her spirit.)
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June 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
best lines:
“Granger, something like that is not an accident! You don’t just ‘accidently’ backhand a woman!” he raged, throwing things about on his desk. Hermione clutched her briefcase nervously.
“Are you even listening to yourself? You are defending his actions! Unless you like it when he hits you? Maybe you even get off a little on it?”
“You’re sick,” she said, disgusted.
“And so are you for trying to eradicate his actions like it was nothing! This,” he yelled, pointing to her sore face. “Is not nothing!”
And then she thought about the monster he’d become, the anger on his face as he’d struck her, all the nights he’d stumbled in smelling of alcohol and sex, all the night’s she’d been summoned to the bars with an angry owl because he was causing problems.
...the last time was to go to a match of Ron’s against England and he yelled at you for being there without telling him
(Why would Ron be at a match against England? That statement implies he was playing. Who's he playing for? Wales?)
She smiled at the man, a decade her senior and stuttering over her feelings when she knew he could take out an ex-Death Eater in 14.9 seconds. She’d timed it.
“Hermione,” Bryce said, sounding much more like himself. “You did all the background work. It’s alright to let someone help out a little sometimes. What have I always told you?”
“There’s no ‘Hermione’ in ‘team’,” she repeated with a smile.
He was finally in the position to give back to Hermione what she gave him.
His life.
He’d been rotten to the bitter end, only coming around after the war was over in fear of the consequences that were to be bestowed upon him. But she’d been there, she’d stood up for him. He’d never given her a reason to and yet she’d done it anyway. He would never forget the way she’d looked, flouncing around the court room, her bushy hair frazzled, her cheeks pink as she spouted things he’d never heard before.
“Granger, something like that is not an accident! You don’t just ‘accidently’ backhand a woman!” he raged, throwing things about on his desk. Hermione clutched her briefcase nervously.
“Are you even listening to yourself? You are defending his actions! Unless you like it when he hits you? Maybe you even get off a little on it?”
“You’re sick,” she said, disgusted.
“And so are you for trying to eradicate his actions like it was nothing! This,” he yelled, pointing to her sore face. “Is not nothing!”
And then she thought about the monster he’d become, the anger on his face as he’d struck her, all the nights he’d stumbled in smelling of alcohol and sex, all the night’s she’d been summoned to the bars with an angry owl because he was causing problems.
...the last time was to go to a match of Ron’s against England and he yelled at you for being there without telling him
(Why would Ron be at a match against England? That statement implies he was playing. Who's he playing for? Wales?)
She smiled at the man, a decade her senior and stuttering over her feelings when she knew he could take out an ex-Death Eater in 14.9 seconds. She’d timed it.
“Hermione,” Bryce said, sounding much more like himself. “You did all the background work. It’s alright to let someone help out a little sometimes. What have I always told you?”
“There’s no ‘Hermione’ in ‘team’,” she repeated with a smile.
He was finally in the position to give back to Hermione what she gave him.
His life.
He’d been rotten to the bitter end, only coming around after the war was over in fear of the consequences that were to be bestowed upon him. But she’d been there, she’d stood up for him. He’d never given her a reason to and yet she’d done it anyway. He would never forget the way she’d looked, flouncing around the court room, her bushy hair frazzled, her cheeks pink as she spouted things he’d never heard before.
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June 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
best lines:
He knew Hermione didn’t deserve the way Ron was treating her but he didn’t want to lose his best friend by calling him out on it.
(Shows what kind of worthless man HArry is... men always stick together, the bastards)
But another part of him, the large part that thought about Hermione receiving the wrath of Ron’s anger, wanted to rage and scream, show Ron that he hadn’t lost his DA skills. He heard a small snap and looked down to realize he was gripping the teacup so hard it had cracked.
(What use is hitting a fucking cup? Hit Ron!)
“I defeated Voldemort for a reason. If you ever, ever hurt Hermione again, I won’t take pity on you for being my best mate. I will kill you. Stay away from her until you can get your act together. Do you understand me?”
(All bluff Potter. You'd never hit your little sidekick.)
Because right now, all I can see is a pathetic drunk fuck-up with no future. It’s slipping down the drain faster than you can imagine....Now get the fuck out of my kitchen before I decide against giving you one more chance and beat the living shit out of you.”
worried about Hermione. Who would do this to her? Who would crawl into bed next to her and cherish her as she should be, as she deserved to be? How would Ron ever be able to get her back?
(Of course, Harry still thinks that Ron can cherish Hermione. He certainly won't accept Draco doing it. For all his words, HArry is Ron's friend before he is Hermione's friend.)
Did you really think I’d forget so easily what you did for me all those years ago? Hermione, you saved my life, the least I can do is help you fix yours. So I suggest before you insult me to stop putting everything into line and columns of debts that will need to be repaid and just accept what I am doing is being done out of friendship and respect.
She stilled. “Draco. I didn’t mean to insult you. I appreciate everything you are doing for me. I’m just not used to it,” she smiled sadly.
“Alright, if you must know, Crookshanks and I have taken residence in a very nice hotel.” She was a liar. A filthy liar, but not nearly as filthy as the shack she was in that classified as a ‘hotel’.
“My friends won’t come by,” he assured her.
“How do you know?”
“Because you are the only other person who knows Weston House exists,”
“Why?” she asked, not able to form any other question.
“Because it’s my turn.”
She said nothing. She understood now. He was paying her back. It was nothing he hadn’t said before but now it really stuck.
This simply had to do with him no longer wanting to be in debt of her. She didn’t want to take his offer but to do so would mean he could finally settle the score in his warped mind and she could go back to her life.
(heheh - interesting POV from Hermione)
“Draco Malfoy! Well, well, well, what have we here?”
“A lawsuit, if you do not remove your hand from Miss Granger at once.”
“Now, listen here,” she yelled, her patience at an end. “It’s none of your damn business what I do in my spare time. If you were missing your jar you should have just asked because I can make it appear real easily.” She conjured a jam jar in mid-air and watched as Rita paled. “If you don’t want to spend the next year in here, I suggest you sod off.”
“You know as well as I do how Rita gets her stories. You were the one feeding her all that bogus information about Harry in our fourth year.”
(Good shot by Hermione)
“How do you know she’s an animagus?”
“My intelligence doesn’t stop at books,” she remarked, irritated.
He knew Hermione didn’t deserve the way Ron was treating her but he didn’t want to lose his best friend by calling him out on it.
(Shows what kind of worthless man HArry is... men always stick together, the bastards)
But another part of him, the large part that thought about Hermione receiving the wrath of Ron’s anger, wanted to rage and scream, show Ron that he hadn’t lost his DA skills. He heard a small snap and looked down to realize he was gripping the teacup so hard it had cracked.
(What use is hitting a fucking cup? Hit Ron!)
“I defeated Voldemort for a reason. If you ever, ever hurt Hermione again, I won’t take pity on you for being my best mate. I will kill you. Stay away from her until you can get your act together. Do you understand me?”
(All bluff Potter. You'd never hit your little sidekick.)
Because right now, all I can see is a pathetic drunk fuck-up with no future. It’s slipping down the drain faster than you can imagine....Now get the fuck out of my kitchen before I decide against giving you one more chance and beat the living shit out of you.”
worried about Hermione. Who would do this to her? Who would crawl into bed next to her and cherish her as she should be, as she deserved to be? How would Ron ever be able to get her back?
(Of course, Harry still thinks that Ron can cherish Hermione. He certainly won't accept Draco doing it. For all his words, HArry is Ron's friend before he is Hermione's friend.)
Did you really think I’d forget so easily what you did for me all those years ago? Hermione, you saved my life, the least I can do is help you fix yours. So I suggest before you insult me to stop putting everything into line and columns of debts that will need to be repaid and just accept what I am doing is being done out of friendship and respect.
She stilled. “Draco. I didn’t mean to insult you. I appreciate everything you are doing for me. I’m just not used to it,” she smiled sadly.
“Alright, if you must know, Crookshanks and I have taken residence in a very nice hotel.” She was a liar. A filthy liar, but not nearly as filthy as the shack she was in that classified as a ‘hotel’.
“My friends won’t come by,” he assured her.
“How do you know?”
“Because you are the only other person who knows Weston House exists,”
“Why?” she asked, not able to form any other question.
“Because it’s my turn.”
She said nothing. She understood now. He was paying her back. It was nothing he hadn’t said before but now it really stuck.
This simply had to do with him no longer wanting to be in debt of her. She didn’t want to take his offer but to do so would mean he could finally settle the score in his warped mind and she could go back to her life.
(heheh - interesting POV from Hermione)
“Draco Malfoy! Well, well, well, what have we here?”
“A lawsuit, if you do not remove your hand from Miss Granger at once.”
“Now, listen here,” she yelled, her patience at an end. “It’s none of your damn business what I do in my spare time. If you were missing your jar you should have just asked because I can make it appear real easily.” She conjured a jam jar in mid-air and watched as Rita paled. “If you don’t want to spend the next year in here, I suggest you sod off.”
“You know as well as I do how Rita gets her stories. You were the one feeding her all that bogus information about Harry in our fourth year.”
(Good shot by Hermione)
“How do you know she’s an animagus?”
“My intelligence doesn’t stop at books,” she remarked, irritated.
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June 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Another fabulous chapter. It wasn't going to be long before Skeeter stuck her nose in. I wonder what stories she will be printing? I'm also intrigued as to what Ron's next move is going to be. Won't Hermione moving into Draco's house affect her case? Look forward to the next chapter!
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June 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hello, I'm usually a lurker on this site as English is not my mother language, but your stories are so good (and Merlin knows I am picky) that I just had to step out of the shadows to congratulate you for the quality of your work.
You manage to make us feel the characters' emotions as if we were there, with them, without being sappy or overly descriptive. I find myself crying for Hermione, hurting and mourning her marriage with her...
Your writing is highly addictive, and I can't wait to read more of you. Thank you very much for those beautiful emotions your words stir in me :)
You manage to make us feel the characters' emotions as if we were there, with them, without being sappy or overly descriptive. I find myself crying for Hermione, hurting and mourning her marriage with her...
Your writing is highly addictive, and I can't wait to read more of you. Thank you very much for those beautiful emotions your words stir in me :)
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June 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I deleted my other review, but I can now open ch. 31 of Breaking the Chain. I don't know if you did anything or if it was a fluke, but thanks if you did! :-)
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June 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Y'know, Hermione needs to actually use the info on Skeeter to her advantage rather than letting Skeeter think she's too weak to expose her. She's done it before and you would think the bug would know better than to antagonize her. I'd love to see Rita forced to write actually true articles for a change; it would revolutionize wizarding journalism.
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June 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Stupid Rita Skeeter. Seriously, I think she should be pinned to a board and put on display as some sort of rare beetle...what's grosser than a dung beetle? lol Fantastic update, I can't wait for more!
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June 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Could you stop making your dividers so long? They are making my screen scroll from left to right. Make them about as long as you did on the one on Chapter 5, that chapter doesn't scroll for me.