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November 4, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Criss this was beautiful and funny........... Love it! More please!
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November 4, 2010 at 12:00 AM
So it's a good start, and there are already 9 chapters up, but before going on to the next one just had to comment that a beta reader would be a big help to you. There are a number of errors and it really makes it an effort to get through. There are some word choices that really should be changed, like "for all intensive purposes," which you surely meant to type as "for all intents and purposes." Things like that which would make it much more readable.
Other than the proofreading issue, it's a good start, with a strong emotional pull to the thing.
Other than the proofreading issue, it's a good start, with a strong emotional pull to the thing.
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October 2, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Hey Babe,
Really enjoy the story and would be happy to help you clean it up by fixing grammar and spellings if you wish. You are doing a wonderful job as a non-native speaker! Kudos!
~Tem
Really enjoy the story and would be happy to help you clean it up by fixing grammar and spellings if you wish. You are doing a wonderful job as a non-native speaker! Kudos!
~Tem
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October 1, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Let the fireworks begin............ LOL
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September 27, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Great! Please keep them coming.
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September 27, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Very well done do continue
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September 25, 2010 at 12:00 AM
The concept is simple and very nice. The complexity of the characters and the curse involve is different.. So keep them coming a little longer next time........ LOL
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May 21, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Hello,
I just read this story (well the chapters that are completed) and I like the plot. However, there are many incorrect words used, a lot of improper tenses that are mismatched, plaural issues, comma isues, awkward word choices, and out-right grammar errors. Not to be offensive, but it reads like someone who isn't native to English wrote it. If that's the case, you're doing a great job writing in a second language. However, regardless, you really need the help of a good beta, no matter your situation. A good beta can help your decent-plot become an awesomely-written story and teach you how to improve for later works. I hope this didn't offend you, as I was only trying to help. Good luck and thanks for sharing with us.
Jillian
I just read this story (well the chapters that are completed) and I like the plot. However, there are many incorrect words used, a lot of improper tenses that are mismatched, plaural issues, comma isues, awkward word choices, and out-right grammar errors. Not to be offensive, but it reads like someone who isn't native to English wrote it. If that's the case, you're doing a great job writing in a second language. However, regardless, you really need the help of a good beta, no matter your situation. A good beta can help your decent-plot become an awesomely-written story and teach you how to improve for later works. I hope this didn't offend you, as I was only trying to help. Good luck and thanks for sharing with us.
Jillian
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May 21, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I am intrigue... very intrigue on the path that you are trying......... Love the drama, but I am very curious and you haven't let anything slip on what will go next.......... so please update ASAP............ LOL
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October 15, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I like this so far. Draco's responses are great, as are his mother's. Hermione is bitter but understandably so.