AFF Fiction Portal
person gahzor
schedule May 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Not a bad story, but i think you need to slow things down like the other person says and maybe add abit more story, currently its just BAM this happens BAM this happened BAM BAM BAM all this stuff just happens with no story with it.
schedule May 24, 2009 at 12:00 AM
ooh you could also use banshees =]
schedule May 16, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I like this story =]
the plot is very well thought up. only criticism i have would be to kind of slow it down a bit

the story seems very rushed to me. slow it down, add some details. add more concerning the main bits of informations, like the birth of apollo the sex scenes the marriage, and such

don't get me wrong i really like it it just seems rushed =] keep the chapters coming however =]
schedule May 16, 2009 at 12:00 AM
as for some of the creatures you could use, lets see
there are the merpeople, the giants,( u could use hagrid to help with that) ghosts. (can't think of any more =p) ^ ^ can't wait to see the new chapters
schedule May 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
wow this is going good i can't wait till their is more of it please keep me posted, thank you. ameliarose23
schedule May 10, 2009 at 12:00 AM
wow that was awsome ... i can wait in till your next please please update soon .. later for now

angel
person tommye
schedule May 10, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This story is SO funny! Good one. Keep it up.
schedule May 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This is a great story so far...I think you should have at least one person from Voldemort's side on the side of Harry and Hermione xxx

Looking forward to more xxx
schedule May 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Please update this story soon. I can't wait to read the next chapter to this story.
schedule May 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Anyone wishing to contact me please do so at cinder_phenix@hotmail.com