schedule
April 1, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I really enjoyed your story.
However, there were a few things that irked me.
'Entrance' or 'hole', would have been preferable to the repeated use of 'pucker'.
Also, lubrication. It's a must for safety, even in the fantasy realm. Or, you could have said that Harry (as an incubus) would have natural lubrication.
These are just my recommendations.
But, I did enjoy your story very much, your style is very entertaining and well; I look forward to reading more.
-Pan-
However, there were a few things that irked me.
'Entrance' or 'hole', would have been preferable to the repeated use of 'pucker'.
Also, lubrication. It's a must for safety, even in the fantasy realm. Or, you could have said that Harry (as an incubus) would have natural lubrication.
These are just my recommendations.
But, I did enjoy your story very much, your style is very entertaining and well; I look forward to reading more.
-Pan-
schedule
March 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
are you going to update this?
schedule
March 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
well done as usual. I hope you can update soon.
schedule
March 19, 2009 at 12:00 AM
you write like a published author! there are some run-on sentences, but it reads amazingly!
i also like how you take a clich
i also like how you take a clich
schedule
March 14, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Awesome story. Although the first chapter might be easier to read if it was in a different format or something, like the second chapter. I can't wait to read what happens next. ^_^
schedule
March 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
For the sex scenes, a bit more detail, and I would say, that the Dark Lord would at least have to take very good care of the Incubus!Harry and at some level have positive feelings for it/him for the pregnancy to succeed.
A very good story, interesting idea and I just love creature!Harry stories! Keep up the good work!
A very good story, interesting idea and I just love creature!Harry stories! Keep up the good work!
schedule
March 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
That sex scene was... not as arousing as I expected from an incubus coupling. Too technical, and not... dirty enough I suppose. You could just as easily use 'cock' or 'penis' instead of 'member' and 'anus' or 'ass' instead of 'ring of muscles'.
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March 10, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Second chapter and I love it even more... what a twist! Scary how Voldemort thought of Harry as an "it", an animal... hmmm... wonder if some "light" Wizards share that view? Can't WAIT for more, but I patientely will.... ;o)
schedule
March 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
the sex scene wasn't that bad, just one thing: lubrication. Other than that, the story is intriguing, so please do continue!
schedule
March 8, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hot, hot, hot! I love this. I hope that it'll continue soon, because I want to read more.