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May 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
You left us hanging, no fair! Please update soon!
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May 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I really love this story, please update again sooner!
schedule
May 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hi - I just started reading this...and its quite a nice idea. Good storytelling. And I like your pretty canon characters. The way you set up Slytherin House was very nicely done...the most unique positioning I've ever read.
Q: Is this post-war? Also, I see you noted that you have some grammar errors. I think it's ok if you don't have a beta but, if I may offer some con-crit advice to help you out. Why not just use your program's spell check and give it a thorough read before posting? Ensure you check your paragraph spacing, etc. This way you can catch as many errors as you can. Don't worry so much if you have fragements or comma issues. Instead, focus on spelling, run-ons and flow of your story, which, again, is strong. *puts down chalk and walks away slowly from the blackboard* :-)
On to the next chappie. :-)
Q: Is this post-war? Also, I see you noted that you have some grammar errors. I think it's ok if you don't have a beta but, if I may offer some con-crit advice to help you out. Why not just use your program's spell check and give it a thorough read before posting? Ensure you check your paragraph spacing, etc. This way you can catch as many errors as you can. Don't worry so much if you have fragements or comma issues. Instead, focus on spelling, run-ons and flow of your story, which, again, is strong. *puts down chalk and walks away slowly from the blackboard* :-)
On to the next chappie. :-)
schedule
May 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
First, much better in terms of spelling, spacing and grammar...congrats!
I really like the easy flow of your story. It's a good, quick read and nicely paced. Your chapter lengths work really well with your storytelling. I like your Hermione as well - strong, confident yet still rather girly.
PS: thanks for letting us know it's post-war! :-)
Fave phrase: Boy-Who-Kicked-Ass
I really like the easy flow of your story. It's a good, quick read and nicely paced. Your chapter lengths work really well with your storytelling. I like your Hermione as well - strong, confident yet still rather girly.
PS: thanks for letting us know it's post-war! :-)
Fave phrase: Boy-Who-Kicked-Ass
schedule
May 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
very funny...goodness, Draco is an effing git, isn't he? obviously, the war taught him NOTHING!
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May 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hmm, okay story development...just a few questions:
- How does Narcissa know Hermione plague's his thoughts?
It just seemed to jump to this with no background. Can you give us a bit of insight? Also, maybe a bit more about Narcissa and Lucius? Is Lucius dead? Narcissa isn't a pureblood fanatic? Will Blaise be in this story?
- How does Narcissa know Hermione plague's his thoughts?
It just seemed to jump to this with no background. Can you give us a bit of insight? Also, maybe a bit more about Narcissa and Lucius? Is Lucius dead? Narcissa isn't a pureblood fanatic? Will Blaise be in this story?
schedule
May 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hmm, he really has no idea how to remove that foot from his mouth does he?
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May 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Is Draco gay??? LMAO! Such a mom thing to think.
I like Narcissa.
I like Narcissa.
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May 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
very cool. Can't wait for the next chapter!
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May 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Draco likes Hermione....LOL, my his thoughts are drifting to her more and more. And Narcissa playing cupid is hilarious.