rate_review Reviews

Good start!

Good chapter!

Your sentences are too short- it makes it painful to read. All you are doing is telling us what happens, not painting a picture. "Harry was unhappy" well no kidding- he's kinda going through hell right now. What does he plan to do? Where does he find the courage to continue defying the Dark Lord? How does he intend to survive this? You have moved us through the actions of the story, but you need to show us the inner feelings of the characters. Right now, i feel no connection with Harry or Voldemort and it makes me cry inside. I like this sort of story, but it's impossible to enjoy without some sort of connection :(

wow super story!!!! please update soon!!!

This is a nice change. Sometimes a true dark slave harry situation is needed.

Hi! I like master/slave stories, so I'll stick around... I have just one request... take it or leave it, it's your story, but one of my pet peeves with these stories is when the characters start speaking baby-language... like "Harry be good now, Master"... I mean.. it's... yuck... *grin* They sound like demented house-elfs, and it EXTREMELY bad when the master does it... One can be completely submissive (if that is what Harry will be) without that... takes all the hotness away... ;o) Another pet peeve of mine is when authors change Harrys name... that CAN be a psycological thing, to make the pet respond to a name choosen by the master, but every time it happens I go "Oh, the writer didn't think 'Harry' was pretty enough, and wants to call him... whatever... " It's like it is the WRITER renaming him, not the Master... Ah, not sure I make any sense there... Anyway, good luck with the story... VERY glad it won't be a love-story!

Yay! I love pet!Harry. I hope this will turn into a great fic. It sure looks promicing. I love it when Harry fights back as hard as he can. Makes for a delicious fic, especially when he slowly breaks. Lol. My kind of story! I look forward to see where this is going. I'm not a big fan of fluffy lovey LVHP.

Only comment I really have is that Harry's speech seems a little forced. It doesn't seem to run a smothly as it could. I think that mainly roots from the sentence variety that you used. I understand the curt form of speech due to his anger, however, if you change some of your sentences to be more compound, complex, or compound-complex as apposed to only simple I think that will make Harry's speech sound less forced.

Anywho, great stroy! I can't wait for you to update.

I like a good, dark story, so I'll hang around! I just hope it won't be updated TOO seldom, 'cause one kinda looses the storyline with stories like that...