AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for 9 months

by Mountainleaf

person KittenJ
schedule January 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Good ideas, but it was way too rushed. Try spacing the main events a bit more. I would suggest finding a beta. There were a lot of little errors, such as the word coma being spelled comma. Just constructive criticism, I did like the story, I just wish you had taken a little more time with it.
schedule January 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This was a wonderful story. I enjoyed reading it.
schedule January 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
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schedule January 22, 2009 at 12:00 AM
An excellent chapter. I hope that Voldemort is dead for good now. I think that his loyal followers just proved that they are really cowards by running away instead of fighting. I hope that Hermione and Severus will both be alright. I look forward to the next chapter.
schedule January 21, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Excellent. I look forward to reading more.
schedule January 21, 2009 at 12:00 AM
good chapter
schedule January 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This was a great chapter. I hope that Severus will be able to find and protect Hermione and the babies before something happens to them. I look forward to reading the next one.
schedule January 19, 2009 at 12:00 AM
A great chapter. I hope that Hermione's nightmare doesn't come true. If Voldemort has returned, I hope that the babies will both be alright. I don't think she could handle it if her son would die and her daughter would be taken from her. I look forward to reading more.
schedule January 18, 2009 at 12:00 AM
These two chapters were incredible. I think that Severus did the right thing by destroying the photo album. He needs to focus on his family with Hermione. Hopefully they won't fight anymore. I am glad that he is going to go with her to visit Harry, Ginny, and their son.

I think that the twins should be a boy and a girl. For the names, maybe Serenity Grace and Samuel Sebastian.
schedule January 17, 2009 at 12:00 AM
A wonderful start. I look forward to reading more.