schedule
January 14, 2010 at 12:00 AM
hey what happen to harry's two son i know time rewind so harry and herosons are not born yet but at last let harry and hero and draco be re back together finish all your stories i love them
schedule
June 1, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I've only just started to read this, and so far so good for the first chapter... I love a Dom Harry! And as far as I'm concerned theres not enough of them so thank you for making one :) Take care and keep up the great work!
schedule
May 1, 2009 at 12:00 AM
its a good story.
hows the new chapter coming along ?
hows the new chapter coming along ?
schedule
February 2, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Oh dear... I feel disappointed.
This story actually had so much potential. It could have been a fantastic story with an intriguing plot and a dramatic tale. Unfortunately I found the way it was written to be terrible. Of course I could have stopped reading it but against all odds I held out hope it could maybe get better. It did not much to my disappointment.
I will write a few of the things that bothered me. I could write more but I'll mainly mention the major problems.
From the way you write, I am sure you are underage and shouldn
This story actually had so much potential. It could have been a fantastic story with an intriguing plot and a dramatic tale. Unfortunately I found the way it was written to be terrible. Of course I could have stopped reading it but against all odds I held out hope it could maybe get better. It did not much to my disappointment.
I will write a few of the things that bothered me. I could write more but I'll mainly mention the major problems.
From the way you write, I am sure you are underage and shouldn
schedule
February 1, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Sequel please ^_^
schedule
January 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
*sighs* Once again, I think this story is all over the place.
Update chapter 16 soon.
Jan
Update chapter 16 soon.
Jan
schedule
January 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
still love it !
can't wait for more!
can't wait for more!
schedule
January 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Shudder! What the bloody hell?
Why is Harry acting like this? Hitting Draco when he clearly states later that he knew he came from an abusive home. And his behavior towards his own slave is too OOC and random, not to mention irrational. Further more, you should consider researching D/s relationships and slavery some more. I really don't believe that Heero would have gotten away with whimpering every time he was hungry, cold or wanted attention.... And what about blood? Is he a vampire or not? Madame Pomfrey didn't even address the issue?
Your characters are too shallow, and there is no insight into why your Harry is acting like he is!
Cheers!
Why is Harry acting like this? Hitting Draco when he clearly states later that he knew he came from an abusive home. And his behavior towards his own slave is too OOC and random, not to mention irrational. Further more, you should consider researching D/s relationships and slavery some more. I really don't believe that Heero would have gotten away with whimpering every time he was hungry, cold or wanted attention.... And what about blood? Is he a vampire or not? Madame Pomfrey didn't even address the issue?
Your characters are too shallow, and there is no insight into why your Harry is acting like he is!
Cheers!
schedule
January 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
"Heero whimpered and finished the dishes." You do know that a Thesaurus is NOT a dinosaur right??
Cheers!
Cheers!
schedule
January 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Ah! How lovely! Harry watched Heero puke his guts out, but the second he smelled breakfast he left without a word of concern! Lovely! I have drawn two conclusions from your pathetic rambling...
The first, English must be your second language, and although there are surprisingly few spelling errors, you need a proper course in fictional writing, especially dialogue and the use of synonyms. *whimper* ;p
And secondly, you are most likely... maybe fourteen years old, which scares me somewhat considering this is AFF.net and you really are too young to be thinking, let alone writing about mutilating newborn babies!
The plot is actually somewhat interesting, except the whole VOldie's son, sent back in time to become a vampire without the need for blood thing. I might just borrow your plot-bunny sometime. The thought about Harry finding a Master Vampire enslaved is intriguing, but not the way you've done it.
I will NOT be finishing this story, and I urge you to rewrite it with a proper Beta!
Cheers!
The first, English must be your second language, and although there are surprisingly few spelling errors, you need a proper course in fictional writing, especially dialogue and the use of synonyms. *whimper* ;p
And secondly, you are most likely... maybe fourteen years old, which scares me somewhat considering this is AFF.net and you really are too young to be thinking, let alone writing about mutilating newborn babies!
The plot is actually somewhat interesting, except the whole VOldie's son, sent back in time to become a vampire without the need for blood thing. I might just borrow your plot-bunny sometime. The thought about Harry finding a Master Vampire enslaved is intriguing, but not the way you've done it.
I will NOT be finishing this story, and I urge you to rewrite it with a proper Beta!
Cheers!