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January 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
How can the detention go so wrong? And what is Severus thinking? Are Remus and Sirius going to help those two? or is Sirius to try to separte them? Oh, so many questions, so short chapters, not fair (right now I
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January 21, 2009 at 12:00 AM
good chapter
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January 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
good chapter
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January 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I really think that you could use a beta. There are several instances in which your grammer is severly lacking. To name a couple, " what got Hary aroused" ought to be "which got Harry roused" the Mrs. Granger out to be Ms. Granger, etc. if you decide you want a beta, I'd be happy to volunteer.
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January 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I'd be happy to =D you can contact me at mystique887@gmail.com. Would you like me to go through the previous chapters as well?
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January 18, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I like it
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January 15, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hmm... I just got done reading chapter 3. I understand that English is not your native language, but there are still ways to make sure you get all the errors out of your text. I would recommend a beta or something. Anyways, I like the potline, some parts are rather silly and some of the characters are rather OOC not sure if this is intentional or not but it's still cute! I'm off to read the next few chapters.
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January 15, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Could you tell me when you update? veelagirle@yahoo.com
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January 15, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Thanks for the explanation about the prophecy, you just earned a bunch of chocolate chips cookies from me lol. I loved this chapter, I think it was really funny and at the same time really hot. I just have one complaint, could you please, pretty please, make your chapters a little bit longer, I'm a greedy reader lol.
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January 15, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hi really like your story, I think the general idea is great and original. Love how you explained the reason for Severus to be at Hogwarts, even when he hates so much to teach. Will Severus be veela royalty or something like that, or why was it predicted that his mate will be younger? About the Golden Couple, I think they should suffer of excess of fame, which drive them apart, and then the truth should come out so they are ridiculed by everyone, it will also be lovely if they recieved constant howlers from Molly. Well, they are just a few ideas, hope they are helpful. xoxo