rate_review Reviews

I have to agree with HarryVik also. Your story while not very original does have a few nice twists. I can't help but feel that it's not flushed out enough the chapters are way to short and it's almost like a 5th grader is writing it. It has good potential but needs to be a bit more thought out with a lot more detail. I haven't read any of your other stories and I'm sorry to say that I won't if they are anything like this one. I am in no way trying to be rude or unfriendly; I'm just saying that it needs a lot of work. I've had my own far share of bad reviews to so I know it hurts a little when you get one. But I honestly think it might be for the best if you went back and rethought your story. I had a beta completely tear one of my one shots to pieces but after I cried for a couple hours I went back looked over what she said and realized that she was right and the one shot turned out awesome. So please take from this interview what was intended, it

Umm...wow... this story ... is addicting. .. will there be more?

good story, please update soon.

i like more please!

Usually i don't read this kind of fiction, harry is being shoved to the side, everyone is against him, he either turns bad or neutral and somehow comes up in Slytherin, harry is also either abused or just ignored for the rest of his life. I have read many, and i'm sad to say your story is not very original. Why i just drop in and reads someone's works is because i hope that this writer has taken the ground idea but created something of their own. If your intressted in reading a Harry-is-not-the-Boy-Who-Lived just email me and i will give you one of my favourites.

Ok i'm gonna review this but i have only read the first chapter, but i couldn't make myself interested enough to continue reading. First of all, Harry and His brother Lucas would have been one years old when voldy came for them. How do you explain harry remembering the event and being able to chanting a spell. Second of all, if you can't make a more likely to ever have happened then i suggest you think it through first before writing a long story. The first 10 years of harrys life, went flashing by without us readers being able to hang on to it. Many writers that writes a story like your, mostly the take their time on the beginning, even if their just get the background done in one chapter or ten, it doesn't matter that, it's just that you have to think of is not to rush your story as you did in your first chapter. Me as a reader did not find it logical that Lily and James would just turn their back towards harry, you have to give us as readers small but not so overwhelming facts about the situation. A remark, a scene (small as they can be) can be very useful for giving the readers a idea of the living of harry.

I've read your entire story and also read HarryVik's review and I do have to agree, that the story isn't completely original and there's missing bits, like how it started that Harry would be mistreated. Also, your missing important detail with your writing, giving a bit more information, will help a reader to imagine what's going on, along with having someone (or yourself) to beta the chapters and fix errors, such as using "no" instead of using "know".

Poor Harry.
And how will the world react when the info that Lucas is the BWL is wrong?