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February 2, 2013 at 12:00 AM
You have a very strong beginning. It's intriguing, and immediately drew me into the story. I like the way that you introduce your characters by placing them in the thick of things, letting us become acquainted with them as the story unfolds.
If you ever choose to come back and work some more on this, I'd be interested to see where you plan on taking it. You have me interested by the dream that began the tale, and I'm curious as to what event precipitated that state of affairs.
Thank you for sharing, and happy writing!