rate_review Reviews

I also agree with Luthien you seriously need to come up with a different plot line. I read your other stories and it was getting old in the second story, but when you started this one I thought it might be different. I have to tell you that when you began butchering the Spanish language I just could not take it anymore and have stopped reading this story. I know this will not bother most because they probably do not speak or read Spanish, but when you attempt to write a story or dialogue no matter the language you have to make sure you check your spelling and sentence structure.

I hope my review didn't offend you. Was excited to read your update, and I'm curious what will happen next.
(Though I think it's very unlikely for Harry and Ginny to forget their friend's birthday and send a box of Honeyduke's goodies a day late... ;-))

excellent

Interesting story, so far. I wonder how long it will be before Draco realizes the children are his? :D

Seriously, I'm sorry to say this because I like your story. I like the way you write and how you tangle the Spanish bits in the English plot. I also think you have potential as an author.
It's just - have you ever read the Dan Brown books? It starts off with Angels and Demons, and everybody thinks, whoa, this is a great book with an interesting twist to the story's end. Then you read the DaVinci Code, and you think, whoa, great book, interesting twist at the end. By the time you reach Deception Point, you almost wonder - will it be the same twist at the end? - and yes, it is, nothing new, nothing spectacular. If you even bother to read Digital Fortress, you'll be nothing but expecting the twist at the end. It's no fun to read those books when the twist at the end of the plot gets old. (And when you go back to Ken Follett's Whiteout afterwards, you'll be thoroughly surprised that it is, after all, possible to write a similar plot WITHOUT the final twist...)

Why am I saying this?
Well, I don't know which story was posted first, and I don't know if it isn't just a coincidence, so please don't take offense! But I've read two stories with almost exactly the same plot line over the last month. Yours is more original because it is set in Seville, rather than Hawaii, but I still think it's getting kind of old. Draco impregnating Hermione at some point or other, Hermione leaving England for some foreign reclusive home, Draco happening across her by some accident or other... even Draco being with somebody else and falling under Hermione's spell completely as soon as he sees her again, forgetting everything about his current girlfriend/fianc

Hi! I agree with Luthien, and I hope you take our comments constructively. I really like how you write Draco and Hermione, but it's predictable, what with your past two stories - which were fantastic, by the way. Let me just say that your previous works were very original and I've never read anything like your plot in the fandom. Yet, sadly, I've gotten tired of it. I only stick around for the little things that make their relationship e.g. the conversation, banter, reactions, etc.

Please give a translation (italicized, at the bottom, anywhere!) of the Spanish text. It's annoying that I'm reading the story then I can't understand a lot of lines - like I said, the little things matter to me, at least.

AWWW Go after her Draco!!!!!!

please update soon,

esmeralda,

yes!

This is getting very interesting. I wonder what game Draco is playing with himself and with his father. He obviously has feelings for Hermione. I am curious to see where the path of this story will take us. No one knows where Hermione is or if she is even alive. Can't wait for more, I love tha daily updates. Well done!!!