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January 10, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I've been reading your story for a while,plot wise this is great but it's just the interactions with Kreacher that moslty turn me away. and considering this is an AU story and it's set in 5th year, i honsetly hope things turn out better for Sirius, but with his actions,hard to say really but I hope that Sirius DOES catch on to Kreacher real soon,and not only makes him pay for the puppet he had made out of Sirius, and as well for the wrong,disgusting and painful things he has done to Hermione.
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January 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I believe I need to restate my original hypothesis that you are trying to include every disgusting, depraved and demeaning act known to man in this one story. Please get back to the actual story. I know she is being abused and has been brainwashed to like it. She is completely under their control with no obvious way out. Now what? The gratitutious (sp) use of sexual abuse, violence and revolting behavior is just getting boring. Are you REALLY going anywhere with this story or is it just violent porn? I still like your writing style, I just want to see this actually go somewhere.
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January 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Just finished reading Chapter 14 and now I see you posted another chapter. Won't be able to give in my full atttention this evening, so I hope it's cool if I just review 14. (13,000+ words? Impressive!) I have mixed feelings about this chapter. Kreacher freaks me out, but the sleep teaching stuff with Hermione was hot and since she's getting off, I don't feel too bad about her still being stuck. She's enjoying it, so we can to! Now while parts of this story is stretching it (as do many, many HP fics) I still think you're doing a damn fine job writing and researching, and I love your writing style. Did I mention hot? Still not happy about the baby. She's already in such a bad place, the baby makes her that much more vunerable. I dread what will happen when she's placed before the Death Eaters. Plus, I do not want her to end up with Sirius in this story. He is seriously (no pun) disturbed and I hate that she's having tender feelings for him and he thinks he's in love. He's as bad as Kreacher, and I don't think you'll go the love story route. As I said in my last review, I am still very much enjoying the story. I've read so many stories on this site that are just one-shots for people to wank to (not that there's anything wrong with that!) or poorly written, OOC fics. This is well-written and interesting. I know we're only half-way through this story, but I'm really interested in what ideas you may have for future stories. One with slightly less warnings perhaps.
Just out of curiousity, do you have a Harry Potter OTP or do you enjoy many pairings? Looking forward to reading Chapter 15.
Just out of curiousity, do you have a Harry Potter OTP or do you enjoy many pairings? Looking forward to reading Chapter 15.
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January 8, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Well Kreacher really takes the cake in this chapter. He is a manipulative elf isn't he?
Still enjoying this story a lot. Keep up the GREAT work.
I noticed that you said there will be no Sirius in the next chapter... Hmmm, will it just be about Hermione and Kreacher, or will you give us some more insight into what the Order and other characters are doing? Not that I mind this story being all about Kreacher, Sirius and Hermione!
Love Sonia :)
Still enjoying this story a lot. Keep up the GREAT work.
I noticed that you said there will be no Sirius in the next chapter... Hmmm, will it just be about Hermione and Kreacher, or will you give us some more insight into what the Order and other characters are doing? Not that I mind this story being all about Kreacher, Sirius and Hermione!
Love Sonia :)
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January 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This was a very interesting chapter! I can't wait to see what else happens. Can't wait for the fluff either! LOL
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January 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I think I'm recovered enough to review now. Whew.
You wrote this chapter with me in mind? I hope it's because you know how much I love Kreacher's whispering, and not because you were thinking of me in an inappropriate way. ;)
Turning it around now, I love you!! Seriously, I cannot get over this chapter! There are so many things I want to comment on. Advanced apologies for any ramblings and spelling mistakes and overuse of conjuctions.
*I reviewed early that the whispering to Sirius in previous chapters wasn't really my thing, but here...wow! The confusion and the arousal and the power. Skipped over the icky bathroom stuff, but this - "Kreacher slowly engulfed his Masters erection with his mouth, working hard to keep his Master in a state of semi-sleep as he tearfully begged Kreacher in desperate whispers to allow him to cum, his back arching and his limbs straining with carnal desire while held captive in his charmed elfin sleep." That single sentence is so descriptive and erotic and amazing, with the tearfully begging and desperate whispers and the straining! One single sentence. Wow.
*And then your next part with Hermione begins with an opening paragraph that mirrors that beginning of the chapter. Love it! And just the whole section with the oragam denial and then playing with her all over and coercing her in her sleep and the desperate whispering of one or two words and her arms forced out to the sides and the digging tongue. Everyone moaning and begging and pleading. And he called her good girl! Being a goody-two-shoes myself, that has always been a turn on for me...and he praises her with it several times. No words.
*The Ginny part was a wonderful reveleation because I thought she wouldn't enter the picture until they brought her into the room. (And Kreacher wants to see them together!) Going back and forth between Kreacher's instructions and what Hermione was seeing in her dream was great. And then Ron shows up! Threesome with incest directed by a house-elf. Do you have a list of kinks next to your computer that you check off after every chapter? Totally mean that it a you rock so hard way!
*Kreacher worries me, but he has all the control here. He is the grand puppet master, the Emperor Palpatine of this story. He gets frustrated at times, but Hermione and Sirius are just he pawns and are in his complete control. He convinced both of them the swing thingy is a good idea. He instructs and works Hermione over in her sleep, and when she accidently wakes up, she begs him to do her and then thinks about what it would be like if Dobby entered the picture?! And he finds them so easy to manipulate. And he's so skillful with his expert touches. He has all the power here. Makes me wonder what he did with the slaves when Sirius's parents were alive. Is that where he learned it? And what exactly did Mrs. Black teach him? Prequel, prequel! ;) Unless the Blacks are all about violence, in which case, never mind. Still happy with the absence of bloodplay and necrophilia in your warnings.
*"She closed her eyes and saw Ron's hands on her while everyone in the Order cheered him on and felt herself becoming aroused. " Is this a Kreacher image? Is this foreshadowing for a moresome? The Order?! You tease.
*The baby is due in four months? Wow. If the baby will begin hearing voices soon, I'm wonding if that'll include the whispering. And what does Kreacher want to do with the "brat". I'm worried.
*Sirius continues with the crazy. Worried about a child out of wedlock and ruining her innocence? Dude, you are ruining her. She's ruined. Her best friends are two floors up, she hasn't seen them in weeks, she's locked in a basement, and it's Christmas. You're thinking of hanging her from the ceiling and she's pregnant at 16. But she's sweet. Oh Sirius. Not at all desiring an romance in this story (unless it's from Ron or someone) as Sirius is insane.
*Poor Harry and the Weasleys. Having to deal with all the Voldermort stuff and worry about Hermione. Part of me is glad you don't focus on their concerns and worries because I'd feel guilty for going, hooray multiple orgasms for Hermione!
*LOL on the inclusion of your pregnant woman-sexual status comment from real life. :)
*Author's notes - Hey, links I can click! Those DNA sites are awesome! And duh wikipedia. Sleep learning totally works when combine it with elfin magic!
*No Sirius in the next chapter. Hmmmm...interesting.
You wrote this chapter with me in mind? I hope it's because you know how much I love Kreacher's whispering, and not because you were thinking of me in an inappropriate way. ;)
Turning it around now, I love you!! Seriously, I cannot get over this chapter! There are so many things I want to comment on. Advanced apologies for any ramblings and spelling mistakes and overuse of conjuctions.
*I reviewed early that the whispering to Sirius in previous chapters wasn't really my thing, but here...wow! The confusion and the arousal and the power. Skipped over the icky bathroom stuff, but this - "Kreacher slowly engulfed his Masters erection with his mouth, working hard to keep his Master in a state of semi-sleep as he tearfully begged Kreacher in desperate whispers to allow him to cum, his back arching and his limbs straining with carnal desire while held captive in his charmed elfin sleep." That single sentence is so descriptive and erotic and amazing, with the tearfully begging and desperate whispers and the straining! One single sentence. Wow.
*And then your next part with Hermione begins with an opening paragraph that mirrors that beginning of the chapter. Love it! And just the whole section with the oragam denial and then playing with her all over and coercing her in her sleep and the desperate whispering of one or two words and her arms forced out to the sides and the digging tongue. Everyone moaning and begging and pleading. And he called her good girl! Being a goody-two-shoes myself, that has always been a turn on for me...and he praises her with it several times. No words.
*The Ginny part was a wonderful reveleation because I thought she wouldn't enter the picture until they brought her into the room. (And Kreacher wants to see them together!) Going back and forth between Kreacher's instructions and what Hermione was seeing in her dream was great. And then Ron shows up! Threesome with incest directed by a house-elf. Do you have a list of kinks next to your computer that you check off after every chapter? Totally mean that it a you rock so hard way!
*Kreacher worries me, but he has all the control here. He is the grand puppet master, the Emperor Palpatine of this story. He gets frustrated at times, but Hermione and Sirius are just he pawns and are in his complete control. He convinced both of them the swing thingy is a good idea. He instructs and works Hermione over in her sleep, and when she accidently wakes up, she begs him to do her and then thinks about what it would be like if Dobby entered the picture?! And he finds them so easy to manipulate. And he's so skillful with his expert touches. He has all the power here. Makes me wonder what he did with the slaves when Sirius's parents were alive. Is that where he learned it? And what exactly did Mrs. Black teach him? Prequel, prequel! ;) Unless the Blacks are all about violence, in which case, never mind. Still happy with the absence of bloodplay and necrophilia in your warnings.
*"She closed her eyes and saw Ron's hands on her while everyone in the Order cheered him on and felt herself becoming aroused. " Is this a Kreacher image? Is this foreshadowing for a moresome? The Order?! You tease.
*The baby is due in four months? Wow. If the baby will begin hearing voices soon, I'm wonding if that'll include the whispering. And what does Kreacher want to do with the "brat". I'm worried.
*Sirius continues with the crazy. Worried about a child out of wedlock and ruining her innocence? Dude, you are ruining her. She's ruined. Her best friends are two floors up, she hasn't seen them in weeks, she's locked in a basement, and it's Christmas. You're thinking of hanging her from the ceiling and she's pregnant at 16. But she's sweet. Oh Sirius. Not at all desiring an romance in this story (unless it's from Ron or someone) as Sirius is insane.
*Poor Harry and the Weasleys. Having to deal with all the Voldermort stuff and worry about Hermione. Part of me is glad you don't focus on their concerns and worries because I'd feel guilty for going, hooray multiple orgasms for Hermione!
*LOL on the inclusion of your pregnant woman-sexual status comment from real life. :)
*Author's notes - Hey, links I can click! Those DNA sites are awesome! And duh wikipedia. Sleep learning totally works when combine it with elfin magic!
*No Sirius in the next chapter. Hmmmm...interesting.
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January 6, 2009 at 12:00 AM
You...he...ohmigod...thud.
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January 1, 2009 at 12:00 AM
You're very descriptive. I would like to see you write something tamer and more romantic, as seen in the first few chapters, as you writing compliments this genre well. I haven't gotten to any of the dirty acts you warned us about (and might not, as the first few chapters work as a nice story on their own) but I just thought I'd mention how vivid your writing is. =)
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December 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Yes, Sirius, she is still very young! So happy he's finally getting that through his thick head. And for all the anger I feel towards Sirius, dude, Kreacher is the one pulling all the strings...and no one realizes it yet. Although I go on about how mean they are to her, Sirius gets her all aroused at the end of Chapter 12, leaves, comes back in this chapter, leaves her sleeping, and then she wakes up all frustrated. It's sad seeing how conflicted Hermione is becoming. She wants to stay, she wants to leave, she likes the sex, she hates how they treat her. Hope she gets some of her spirit and fight back. (Without having to worry about that horrid pillowcase.)
Interesting sex scene in this chapter, although it seems to me that she's enjoying it less. Or maybe because everything was focused more on Siruis this time? Still good though.
And she's pregnant? The creepy level has raised. Hermione wanting a baby to give Sirius milk and do keep her from being bored gives me the shivers. I'd like to say I hope this ends well, but I'm afraid to hope.
Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying this story! And am very happy I haven't had to use the scroll bar in a while.
Interesting sex scene in this chapter, although it seems to me that she's enjoying it less. Or maybe because everything was focused more on Siruis this time? Still good though.
And she's pregnant? The creepy level has raised. Hermione wanting a baby to give Sirius milk and do keep her from being bored gives me the shivers. I'd like to say I hope this ends well, but I'm afraid to hope.
Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying this story! And am very happy I haven't had to use the scroll bar in a while.
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December 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
P.S. When are the others going to join in on the fun?