rate_review Reviews

I really liked your story up until the last chapter. I am not in any way trying to tell you what to do, but wanted to offer my feedback in as constructive a way as possible. The primary reason I won't be reading any further is that I feel like the decisions Harry made were not in keeping with the character you had developed up to this point. The decisions were far too extreme for someone of his upbringing, age, and experience. I could see tattoos or piercing (maybe) but cosmetic surgery is stretching it a bit. Especially his motivation to make her body modifications more noticeable to the population of Hogwarts. Since this their last year there according to the timeline, arranging for her to have muggle plastic surgery before the summer after they graduate is improbable at best.

Also, a 17 year old male deciding to give up vaginal sex (except to impregnate her) with the girl he is in love with when that is the one thing she has most been asking him for? I'm having a hard time even coming up with a scenario in any situation where I could suspend my disbelief, especially when he has yet to even have that type of sex. However, this is your story and you are entitled to do whatever you want with it.

I realize that the next bit is going to come across as rude, but as you were the one to mention that you were a teacher of writing, I would expect a bit more diligence when it comes to simple grammar mistakes. I don't expect perfection, but if you look at copyblogger dot com slash grammar-goofs, I would hope you'd have at least those 15 issues covered. While only around half of those items listed exist in the story, it is the more common half that makes it somewhat challenging to read.

I'd like to thank you for writing and mention again that I enjoyed your story overall. I hope my comments are accepted in the constructive manner in which they were intended. I don't expect you to change your story for me, but felt compelled to at least provide my feedback.

I love it!!!!!

I just came across this story, and I like it so far. I see that it's been updated recently, so hopefully there will be more soon.

The idea of incest in the story (Daphne and Astoria?) doesn't bother me at all. I think it would be a nice addition.

The sudden turn in the last chapter was a bit jarring. After Hermione's punishment was such a big deal, now they're both suddenly okay with hideously disfiguring her? It seems rather inconsistent. Also I would think that Hermione would think to point out that having her breasts mutilated might impair her ability to feed children later, and suggest that they ought to look into that before doing anything permanently disabling.

i think the idea of incest is fine with me. of course the only real ways i see pulling it off are with granger and her mother or daphney and her sister but i would think that it would mean harry would have to take her as a slave as well.

Not so sure about the last chapter in fact I think you have lost me reading any more- the idea that Harry would want to sterlise one of his women seems wrong - and tattooing Hermione and piercing her and giving her breast implants the motivation does not seem to be loving domination but gratituous humiliation and sadism and seeing how far she will take abuse. Is this really what she wanted - does not really seem so... go back and think please before the story just becomes how grossed out you can make it

This is a great story! Very much what a D/s relationship is based on, and how it can work (well, with magic anyway). Keep up the great work!

You have intrigued me with this story, from the way it is told, because I believe you know how to write. To the lifestyle you are presenting. And I believe you should get this done...I enjoy it that much and only stumbled onto it yesterday. I have checked to see if this story would be updated with another chapter within 5 minutes since I finished it last night.

Great read and hopefully you continue with it.

I must say that when I stumbled across this story I was a bit leery. But you've handled the topic and plot well. Thus far everything has been safe, concerned with safety, or fairly innocent control play. Kudos and keep up the great writing.

Hey, I love it! You're doing a great job of catching the lifestyle - One of the best I've ever read. There are a lot of people who think they know what the lifestyle is about, even though they've never experienced it, and don't. There are even more who think that their "style" is the "right way" and all others are wrong, incomplete, incorrect, whatever, and to them I would say "WHATEVER!' From the rest of us - the silent majority, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

Any critiques I might have would be typos or spelling - but I would rather read the typos than not read the story! It really is one of the more accurate, experienced, BDSM works I've read.

Good update. Why Harry don't want to have children with both girls? Hope you'll change his mind about it. Looking forward to more soon.
Oh, and remove Luna from their relations.