rate_review Reviews

You did a marvelous job! I love how you wrote in the land of Avalon into your story. I'm a huge mythology and Aurthorian legends buff, so this was just the butter cream icing on your splendid cake. Bravo! Please update at your leisure once more.

Sooo need chapter 17!!! Avalon sounds heavenly!!!

i loved draco throwing harrry off the cliff....heheh....cant wait to read the next chapter!!

* Chapter 16 * Honestly only seconds before Lucius did his spell I began to oddly think back to Harry and his encounter with the imposter, and began to think it was weird that you constantly made Harry think of it as the imposter "getting Draco's mannerisms down" as if the imposter really wasn't Draco - some sort of clone, or timewarp otherwise. And now, you tease me with this idea of a twin! Honestly. That could definitely work though as far as our idea of old families (Man in the Iron Mask Anyone?) twins probably wouldn't be seen as needed, and I could definitely see where revenge would be wanted in that situation. Even more so since now that Narcissa is dead, whatever spell that might have been holding up this guy would have broke. Ultimately though, as this isn't the sense I receive from Narcissa's entries, I'm not sure about this theory, but as we get farther in chapters, I'm even less sure about timeskipping. The restaurant idea was a nice touch for Draco's sake who probably still burns a bit for not being invited to that other restaurant where Harry has correspondence. I like that Severus was faced with Harry's feelings on two important topics that he was most skeptical about. To be sure real quick: Avalon is what? Another island within Earth borne of magic? Another pocket dimension? Great job with this chapter. Thanks for the reassurances, although now I get to worry about something else entirely: the sanity of everyone's mind. Assuming Draco will get more twisted than this (he's improving this chapter though!) But the worry is keeping me in a good sort of tense mood about all of this. Lastly (I forgot almost) before continuing on with the story, I ended up rereading that sentence where Harry is thrown off a cliff a few times to absorb it properly. lol That was a well written scene.

First off, let me state that the writing for this story is wondeful. I have very much enjoyed all of your fics thus far. I especially loved Bloodied but Unbowed. This one I'm having a harder time with but that's because I don't particularly like these versions of the characters. That's the point. They are ALL so flawed. My buy-in to a story is the love of the character but these are so uncomfotable that I'm having a hard time with it. There is NOTHING remotely likable about Draco and Severus. I don't want to see Harry hurt but he needs to be in order for him to be free of his obssession. He needs to move on and he can't til this plays out. I LOVE happy endings but I'm not sure I want them together at the end. Draco doesn't deserve him and he does deserve to be miserable the rest of his whole pathetic life. He has learned nothing in all this time. He is still the vain, shallow child who blames everyone else for all that he perceives is wrong instead of admitting that HE's the only one responsible for his unhappiness. Not a comfortable story at all and a hard read but I suspect that's what you were looking for!

I can tell how little both are thinking now at least. Harry still being improperly treated (only the ache being gone, and the blood stopped) and both of them leaving the property. Yeah. It worried me that Harry did go to follow Draco first, and I could see the change occurring where in the beginning of this chapter he had Ron's cautious voice in his head reputing his hopes, when by the end he was coming to expect those "soft touches". Although, thankfully, by the same score Draco seems to be better here than before. Even if the chapter ended with him thinking of triumph, I like that a big point is that "he wanted it for the rest of his life". For him to want that, knowing that he only meant for it to be fleeting for him (as an act) and lasting for Harry... That gives me some hope. I definitely liked reading Narcissa's chapter here, and her encounting Draco for the first time. I found it ironic to read when Lucius still admitted that he thought pride was more important than freedom or peace, since either one of those would have saved Narcissa's life...not pride. It is driving me crazy on whether I'll be able to pinpoint this story as a happy or sad ending even when I do encounter that conclusion, and I'm worried that Lucius might die, and that that might be for the best. Wonderful job.

Sooo sooo need chapter 16!! Will Lucius and Ron find Harry and Draco? Will Draco give up his plans for revenge?

(Chapter 15)


I can't help feeling sorry for Lucius as he's reading Narcissa'a diaries. How betrayed must he feel? Regretful? Guilt-ridden? Misunderstood? How devastating to find the person you loved and thought loved you back never did.

I like Ron in this. He seems to know what he's about. I liked what he said about Harry's clearly unhealthy obsession with Draco. I liked how he was straightforward, without mincing words, with Lucius. Perhaps he already knows, or will come to see that Lucius isn't the mad one.

I have to say that Harry does seem a bit out of character here. I like that you have him acknowledging his own need to be taken care of in this. I know that Harry can be rather stubbornly single-minded about things, but while he seemed to previously have his doubts about Draco's trustworthiness, he now seems to trust him implicitly, and that just doesn't seem to make sense to me, particularly as an Auror. I suppose though, as his obsession with Draco grows, it clouds his better judgement, which I do understand. Hmmm.....sorry I can't express what I mean clearly.

And you've said Snape is off thinking about things in this chapter. Now you've got me all curious to know what he's thinking about. Hopefully we'll get a clue in the next chapter. Looking forward to it.

Mehehwwhwww... sorry, I'm a bit late, but I have a rather full schedule now and can't read all the time *sniff* anyways so Ron's here now to play nanny, well, get on with it!! And Lucius's plotting along... still don't get Snape, as for the plots, well, I think that one's a given!!
Cat

Excellent job. Please update once more when you find the time, I love imagining the scene of Ron and Lucius storming down the hallway together, simply hilarious and odd.