rate_review Reviews

Glad to see this updated! I loved your description of Hermione's dress. Sounded so pretty. ;D

oh very hot and want more please!

Hang on a minute. There is a discrepancy between Hermoine's actual age and your descriptions of her age. Phrases like "slightly aged" and "she had aged to a ripe twenty nine, but she had not lost her wit, or her charm, or the shy beauty that became her" make her sound ANCIENT. Do you really think that at twenty-nine we all lose our wit, charm, and beauty? That we are hags as soon as we approach thirty?? You were describing her as if she was in her sixties which is probably indicative of the fact that you are extremely young. I shudder to think how you would describe me (an old crone of thirty-two). Go on, glam Hermoine up a bit!

Hello....I love the premise of your story and I think that you write very well...just one thing....when did 29 become old? Im 33 with 3 kids but I dont feel old nor do I look aged slightly or otherwise! Sorry....that little bit got to me, but I like the story and hope you continue to update. =)

Happy Writing!
S_G

yes, i love it soo much!

Pretty good start so far.
Maybe try making the next chapter a bit longer ?
Can't wait to read more.

Much Love...
XXX

more please!!!!