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rate_review Reviews

for Losing little, gaining a lot

by Aunjel18

person Thalia
schedule July 22, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I think you should go on. You have great potential with this. The only thing I do recommend is getting a beta to correct the grammatical errors. it would give a polish to your thoughts and words. Good luck.
person Kris
schedule July 22, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This story sounds really great, i can't wait till another chapter is up. Keep up the good work
schedule July 22, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I think this story has great potential, though I found myself slightly distracted by a few spelling errors. Nonetheless, it is still a story worth building on, though I would suggest having someone read over this chapter to help you catch some of the mistakes. If you cannot find anyone I would be glad to do so for you, just drop me an email at baby_bat0323@hotmail.com. I patiently await your next update, I have never read a story where Severus was more of a submissive, and I look forward to reading more. :)
schedule July 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Sounds like a really good story, I can't wait till the next chapter.
person kunitsu
schedule July 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Very nicely done. I like it already and that contract was a nice add
schedule July 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Please write more soon, this story is great so far!
person Snakelette
schedule July 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Great first chapter! Yay for virgin!bottom!mpreg!Snape ;)

There were quite a few typos tho, but other than that; please keep it up and update soon please?
person revelin
schedule July 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I like the start of your story. Drop me a line so we can talk grammar & spelling LOL
person Lisajayne
schedule July 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hi,like the start of this.love virgin Sev and pregnant Sev!!update soon!
person Jeanne
schedule July 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I really do like the premise of this story, but you need a beta. Please, get a beta. It will take your very good idea for a story into something that people will be eager and able to read without distraction from the errors. If you can't find anyone, feel free to email me as I've beta'ed before.