rate_review Reviews

So, after that display in the great hall, as well as Harry's general lack of subtlety, I have to assume that Hermione has figured out that there is something going on between him and Cho. She's much smarter than the girl who's sole driving goal in life was to wrap her legs around the boy-who-lived.

Interesting, I must say I didn't expect this. It is quite unusual, and I don't really like parts of it. I for one would like to see Cho find out that her boyfriend has been screwing Ginny. You have created some really insane characters here though I wonder if perhaps the whole him not telling Cho he loves her makes sense. I mean he has no reason not to tell her whereas she has a reason. If she isn't careful i.e. she sleeps with someone else, then I wonder if Harry will even try to return the next time. I want to see more updates because this whole insanity thing really needs to come to a conclusion soon methinks. This whole she loves him she hates him thing is slowly becoming a bit worn down. You'd think he would have tied her down an forced her to talk to him about what is bothering her or at least he would before the holidays. Will he send her a Christmas gift? I think he should and that it should be expensive just my thoughts on the matter. More than anything, I find it a pain that he simply doesn't tie her down until she talks. If he was that worried about it then he would have. The rapid fire change in emotion is fun for awhile and quite good characterization, but it is rather annoying right now. One of them is just going to have to come out and say what is wrong and how they feel. Harry/Ginny is starting to make less and less sense as the story goes on, and I hope that it ends soon.

MOAR updates!!!!! I hope Harry and Cho get this thing worked out soon. I miss the happy couple. I wanted to see some anal for Cho, but I wanted it to backfire on her epicly when she finds out that she enjoys it. That would be a wonderful way of messing up her plans.

I have to say this is one of the best things to come out of AFF.net in a very long time. You have crafted a disturbingly titillating psycho-drama that delves deeply into the convoluted recesses of both rapist and victim. I personally can't see a "happily ever after" for either of these damaged souls. Perhaps a bit of creative obliviation is in store for both their sakes?
Perhaps we can liken back to Plutarch's "Rape of the Sabine," where the abducted women become assimilated, even to the point of defending their rapists?
And why do I hear strains of music from "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers"?
You have spoiled us in one way, by posting one or two chapters every day you're giving us the whole story in a month or less. Releasing one chapter a week would have kept us at the edges of our proverbial seats for the better part of nine months.
As it stands I look forward to the next thrilling episode

You posted the same chapter twice. I think Cho is being a bit dense.

Thank bloody God that's over.

Please, twocanz, tell me that the remaining story isn't going to continue like this up until its resolution? This chapter was painful to get through, and I don't mean that in a good way. The eye-rolling was rocking my skull as the plot twists spun into a mad loop of repetition and senselessness. If I were your editor, I would have had you excise the bulk of the last two segments, particularly in Ch. 24. You could have left it to about three scenarios before moving your protagonist on to a new course of action. I don't meant to be harsh in my criticism, but I honestly couldn't find too many redeeming paragraphs to praise. Furthermore, the reader is starting to feel a bit played. Please note that when your characters start repeating themselves, you've utilized that bit of drama as far as it needs go. Don't swell up drama for drama's sake; that only incites aggravation or tedium in your audience. The actions and dialog need to support the construct you've set up in your first act. As much as I've understood Cho's behavior throughout your story, whether it be from fear, rage, anguish, mania, lust, shock, love, or betrayal, her journey has made sense, for the most part, in the psychological vein you've presented. But at some point, any human being under that kind of mental strain is going to need to take action to halt the torment; whether as a defense mechanism, voice of reason (which insofar as Cho has employed it in her inner monologues has usually steered her in the right direction), or sense of self-preservation. She's got to be mentally exhausted, by now. No person in their right mind would continue to vacillate the way she does in the face of extreme pain. Of course, maybe they are BOTH insane. That is how you are writing them now, which is a huge let-down after we've been faithfully sticking with them and rationalizing their behavior for over 20 chapters. "Three-Way Split" left the Harry and Cho we've come to know virtually unrecognizable. Harry's Jekyl and Hyde impression was ridiculous, and he's regressed to the point of stupidity, now. Cho flat out quoted him verbatim when she chastised him about calling her Love and he didn't recognize his own words? She continually throws Ginny in his face, all but spelling out the root of her anger, and Harry consistently refuses to rise to her bait, but he can't figure it why she's mad at him? He offers her a mockery of love, wants her to give him love in return, but hesitates to tell her in the plainest language. So, how has he grown as a person, then? Where is his progress? He reverts back to violence to gain entreaty to her physical body,---because he thinks this will turn her on? That she will bend to his will?---when what he really wants is her affections. How is that logical? Is he insane or not? If you want us to think that Harry's madness and addiction for Cho has become love and concern, then how do you explain his treatment here? I confess I can't understand anything that transpired here, and your attempts to explain away Cho's decisions and feelings ring hollow.

While Flitwick queried her after class, Cho has an epiphany. She summed up her dilemma in a beautiful little nutshell, "Harry Potter raped me, sir. And since, he