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July 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I really, really, really like this story...but I thought the Reverend Mother would go balistic when Narcissa went through the fireplace, but she seemed oddly accepting. Is there a reason for this?
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June 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! PLEASE it's soo good!
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June 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Soooo need chapter 7!!!
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June 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hiya!
I think this is a very cute story, with an original premise. However, a few things stood out as slightly inconsistent for me. In chapter one, you have the date noted as 6 August 1981. However, Harry was not marked by Voldemort until 31 October 1981, so I suggest you alter the date. Also, how is it that Lily and James are still alive and Sirius was the one to drop Harry off? If Lily's sacrifice did not save Harry, will you be explaining what did?
Next, I can see how the nuns were quick to be reassurred by Harry being a "girl," but the issue of pre-marital sex was completely dismissed. You wrote that the nuns checked on them every hour, but that they shared a room? Why would the nuns have them share a room if they were truly afraid of them engaging in sexual acts? I did think having the door blown open, and the cane turned into a snake were funny twists however.
Lastly, if the nuns were as paranoid as they appear to be over a "satanic cult" getting their hands on the boys, I do not feel they would have been so casually accepting of Narcissa appearing out of a fireplace. There would be shouting, and praying on rosaries, or whatnot. I PROMISE I am not trying to sound critical, as I thought the birthing scene was clever and this story has a cute premise. I simply think you need to relax just a bit and slow down. If you continue to rush this story, cute or not it will be easily dismissed. But if you take your time, and build up the scenes just a bit, this could be quite an interesting piece.
Loves!
Roo
I think this is a very cute story, with an original premise. However, a few things stood out as slightly inconsistent for me. In chapter one, you have the date noted as 6 August 1981. However, Harry was not marked by Voldemort until 31 October 1981, so I suggest you alter the date. Also, how is it that Lily and James are still alive and Sirius was the one to drop Harry off? If Lily's sacrifice did not save Harry, will you be explaining what did?
Next, I can see how the nuns were quick to be reassurred by Harry being a "girl," but the issue of pre-marital sex was completely dismissed. You wrote that the nuns checked on them every hour, but that they shared a room? Why would the nuns have them share a room if they were truly afraid of them engaging in sexual acts? I did think having the door blown open, and the cane turned into a snake were funny twists however.
Lastly, if the nuns were as paranoid as they appear to be over a "satanic cult" getting their hands on the boys, I do not feel they would have been so casually accepting of Narcissa appearing out of a fireplace. There would be shouting, and praying on rosaries, or whatnot. I PROMISE I am not trying to sound critical, as I thought the birthing scene was clever and this story has a cute premise. I simply think you need to relax just a bit and slow down. If you continue to rush this story, cute or not it will be easily dismissed. But if you take your time, and build up the scenes just a bit, this could be quite an interesting piece.
Loves!
Roo
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June 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
awwww what a cute idea! looking forward to seeing where this goes
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June 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
i have been waiting for so long for this story to update!! email me for the next update at kyuubifreak@rocketmail.com