rate_review Reviews

Great start. Update soon! (Small note: writhe doesn't have an 'r' on the end)

I think this could be a good fic, but it needs a lot of work. First the chapter can't even be called a chapter because of how short it was, that will turn off readers. Second is that you skip around a lot and don't add any details about how things got from one point to another. Like when the potion covers Harry, there isn't any mention of that. he just suddenly itches. I would suggest getting a beta reader, it helps a lot to catch things you might otherwise miss.

Sorry if this sounds like a flame, it's not. I just thought I would give you some suggestions to make your story better.

oh that's not fair you can't stop there update update update.