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November 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Good idea, but you badly need a beta to keep readers interested.
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July 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
It's pretty interesting up to this point hopefully you will finish writing this instead of abandon it like many authors do. Not that I'm accusing you of anything. Hope to see the anyone who is following dumbeldore or have a hand in anything in the events of Harry's horrible life be punished million times including Voldmort's side kicks. It will be good to see the brothers interactions with each other.
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May 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
You need a beta reader, a *lot*. English obviously isn't your first language, and it's kinda hard to get into a story when for every sentence you have to stop and rearrange it so it makes more sense.
Otherwise, I thought the story was a pretty interesting idea. It's a bit slow-paced, though.
Otherwise, I thought the story was a pretty interesting idea. It's a bit slow-paced, though.
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May 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Good chapter, getting very interesting.
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May 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
cannot wait for more, how much money did dumbledore stole form him??
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May 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Love the story. But I'd recommend getting a beta to read over the chapters before you post them since there are a few grammatical errors. Other than that keep up the good work and I look forward to reading the next chapter. :)
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May 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
You wanted to know your errors. Twice you typed 160 for Harry's age instead of 16. Spelling his age might work better for you. Also you used the word lender when I think you wanted leader for Sparda's job description. Grammar is a little off in a few places but for writing in a second language you are doing very well.
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May 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I like to read where you will go with this.
Do continue.
Do continue.
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May 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
wow this is a great story and you are doing good with your english. i hope to read more of your story soon
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May 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This is a great story!! I can't wait to read more! please update again real soon!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!