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October 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wow. My apologies, it's not much of a review after eight chapters. My goodness, my head is swimming, the passion just leaps off the screen with each additional chapter. I look forward to reading more as you have time. Thanks!
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October 12, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This was extremely well written! How old are you? I'm just curious; a lot of fan fiction with sub/dom is so juvenile. I'm 21, almost 22. This was ridiculously strange to read over the weekend. I was missing my man (he had to go out of town), and while I was seeking solace and an outlet for my *cough* feelings, I found your story. This story is almost perfectly OUR story! There were a few things that were different: there was no urging friend, and a couple details didn't quite match (she'd been with a few inexperienced guys, but she didn't quite get what all the fuss was about sex. I'd done everything BUT up until I met him in my 20th year, so although I was technically still virgin, I was somewhat experienced. Boy was I naive, though!). There are also a few things they've done together that we've either only talked about, or it's something I've fleetingly wondered about and then quickly (shocked and scandalized at my own tenacity) dismissed.
This was the sexiest, most engrossing fanfiction I have ever read. It wasn't only because so much of what she was thinking was exactly what I'd thought, and it wasn't just because everything he thought was something Jeremy's thought (or something I've hoped Jeremy's felt). Your writing was devoid of all those annoying common mistakes that riddle the land of fanfiction. Examples: "where" instead of "were." Some people do it REPEATEDLY. Or instead of "she tiptoed down the hall," writing "she'd tiptoe down the hall." And the dialogue was natural (something I've never been able to accomplish in my writing). None of the concepts were confusing or out of place or undeveloped, although I would have liked to see Ginny either be more involved that one time she watched, or have that thread unfold a bit more. If it had simply been another woman in the club, the amount of writing that involved her would have been adequate, but since you chose to involve a character from the story who was so essential to the plot, I would have liked to see that incident have more of an impact. Other than that, it was glorious. There are lots of other mistakes you managed to miss out on, and I was so grateful for that! :-D
I especially loved the format. The way each chapter was a one-shot was great; the reader can get his/her fix if s/he's in a hurry, but each one-shot flows into and affects the next. It's like a mini-series: each mini-climax satisfies but leaves the reader wanting more, and each story builds up tension until the end, to the major climax at the end! Perhaps I shouldn't use that word, climax, quite so much. It's fueling a need to re-read your story!
Thanks!
This was the sexiest, most engrossing fanfiction I have ever read. It wasn't only because so much of what she was thinking was exactly what I'd thought, and it wasn't just because everything he thought was something Jeremy's thought (or something I've hoped Jeremy's felt). Your writing was devoid of all those annoying common mistakes that riddle the land of fanfiction. Examples: "where" instead of "were." Some people do it REPEATEDLY. Or instead of "she tiptoed down the hall," writing "she'd tiptoe down the hall." And the dialogue was natural (something I've never been able to accomplish in my writing). None of the concepts were confusing or out of place or undeveloped, although I would have liked to see Ginny either be more involved that one time she watched, or have that thread unfold a bit more. If it had simply been another woman in the club, the amount of writing that involved her would have been adequate, but since you chose to involve a character from the story who was so essential to the plot, I would have liked to see that incident have more of an impact. Other than that, it was glorious. There are lots of other mistakes you managed to miss out on, and I was so grateful for that! :-D
I especially loved the format. The way each chapter was a one-shot was great; the reader can get his/her fix if s/he's in a hurry, but each one-shot flows into and affects the next. It's like a mini-series: each mini-climax satisfies but leaves the reader wanting more, and each story builds up tension until the end, to the major climax at the end! Perhaps I shouldn't use that word, climax, quite so much. It's fueling a need to re-read your story!
Thanks!
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September 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Very, very hot!! Must find large snowdrift to stuff my head in (damn, it's September, no snow!). If you are still taking suggestions, perhaps something with Lucius being slightly ill and needing a bit of home care from Hermione?
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September 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Holy shit that was hot. I felt like I was holding my breath the whole time. I love the term fuckfight. Interesting how even in her rage the nicieties like having him unzip her dress are still upheld.
Not to nag, but as an adoring fan who would gladly send you a gift wrapped Death Eater of your choice, given the means (what a mail order cataloge that would be!) when might I expect a long awaited Remus fic?
Not to nag, but as an adoring fan who would gladly send you a gift wrapped Death Eater of your choice, given the means (what a mail order cataloge that would be!) when might I expect a long awaited Remus fic?
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September 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 8: Phew, look out if Lucius looks at another woman. Hermione has a jealous streak. Who would have thought? It
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September 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh boy, did I enjoy!! Thank you for updating and please feel free to do so again any time!! HG4eva
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September 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wow, that was indeed a very fiery Hermione! Having a fuckfight........ LMAO That was quite the encounter. I wasn't expecting him to ask her to move in to the Manor though. What will the wizarding world make of that?????
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September 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Smoking hot!
Almost makes me want to get mad so that I can get a fuckfight too...
Almost makes me want to get mad so that I can get a fuckfight too...
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September 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Well call me a big puddle of goo. lol Fantastic update! Angry hate sex is SO some of the best kind. lol
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September 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I love this story. Great writing. I cant wait for more.