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rate_review Reviews

for Mind of a Machiavellian

by calaminehorn

schedule May 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I'm waiting pateintly for the next installment and when I say "patiently" I mean that I'm nearly having cartiac arrest waiting for it. I love, love, love IT! when Lucius is dragged down like that but I'm also a romantic at heart so I can't wait for the battle between Lucius and Hermione to ensue. I also can't wait to find out about Hermione and her job and why she was all up the the 9's.

I like the pacing and the style of the writing. Really no critique's aside from a few minor things that are overlooked, mostly flubbed spelling which can easily be fixed. Other than that, you have a new fan.
schedule May 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
People will always have different narrative preferences; I rather enjoyed Narcissa's presence in this scene in the initial version of the story. It's satisfying to have the quick gratification of Hermione's appearance so early in the plot, but I did appreciate the way Narcissa seemed to recognize some small obligation to Lucius by appearing in person to inform him of her intentions. Hermione's defense paints a sympathetic portrait of Narcissa's character here, and the writing has improved a great deal, but it somehow feels less original this way.

Which is just my perspective, of course. I would reconsider your request that readers help with revision; those sorts of things are part of the pre-publication process and interfere with readers' enjoyment. (A reader who notices a spelling error is a reader who's likely to be annoyed by that spelling error.) Says the professional copyeditor. It's much easier to respect an author who knows that she might have errors in grammar, punctuation, or spelling and who takes the time to find a beta (and there are tons available at any number of places) to tackle those issues before publication. Sure, it slows down the instant response joy we feel at posting directly after we've written and getting those immediate positive reviews, but the author gains the confidence that what she's posted is of the best quality and that her readers' reviews are more likely to focus on the content of the work, rather than the mechanical composition.
schedule May 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This is great! I can't wait for more!