rate_review Reviews

Your writing in this is very heavy handed and your character descriptions feel like reading a police report. "Suspect, 5'9 165lbs long straight brown hair, tatoo on right shoulder." This story lacks the ease, lightness and flair of your other work (the ones that were mostly ooc anyway). It feels rushed and has an air of trying too hard and, I hate to say it, boring. Please, use this as the concrit it's meant to be and not a flame. I love your work.

A Fan: I had just finished my author note for the last chapter when I received your review for the story, and I agree. It is very heavy-handed and interaction based. It doesn't have the usual flow at all, and I am painfully aware of the "rushed" aspect, and mention it in the author notes. This is not a "flow" story for me, and in this case, I have to really think rather than letting the story just go. It's much different than what I usually write and I am determined to get through it and not give up on it. I do appreciate the concrit, it just supports my own feelings as I write. But it can't all be easy, and I do need the feedback concerning what is lacking. But, I'm happy to say the actual novel itself has the flow . . . but combining the two worlds is like stirring concrete that's hardening. Still, I'm going to keep working at it just the same because it has benefits for me as a writer. Thank you for caring enough to say what you really think. I hope others won't hesitate to be just as honest. I'm a big girl. I can take it. ;)

Is everyone out there afreaid of hurting Ms Figgs feeling? This is boaring.

Valencia: I don't think people are afraid to hurt my feelings, and besides . . . my feelings wouldn't be hurt simply because I took the risk and wrote this knowing from the beginning it wouldn't be for everyone. Firstly, it's not a "romance" and you know HG/SS shippers love romance. Hell, I love romance, sexual tension, the hunt and all that good stuff. It's just not in this one. Secondly, it has original characters in it that hold a primary position in the story. Original characters are usually secondary and most Shippers hate to see original characters in any shape or form in their HG/SS. lol. So it's no surprise to me you don't like the story, and my feelings aren't hurt by that. Then, couple that with "Heroes" being a crossover, and I don't think crossovers are that popular anyway, especially if the characters aren't known at all as in the case of Artimus and Dahlia. But you have to realize that writing this serves a purpose for me as well, since it allows me to separate the characters and worlds more clearly in my mind so I don't have too many similarities to HP in my own novel. So, to be honest, people saying the story is boring won't stop me from completing it, nor will it hurt my feelings. I find it interesting and helpful, which is why I am continuing it. Luckily, there are hundreds of interesting HG/SS stories on AFF, so you have plenty of other stories available and hopefully will find one that you can enjoy instead of plodding through this one. Thanks for your honest comment.

It was a bit of hard coming? lolololol.

sevsgirl: lol. You know what I mean! :::snickers::: I really have to watch what I write in the author notes. Yeesh. ;)

Ooo, just lovely Ms Figg!!! Haven't lost your Snape/Hermione touch at all!!! A nice change to have a less domineering and more caring Snape-though a surprise to encounter one who doesn't want a bj! But I understand his feelings about this. Hope all is well. Happy writing! Killer K

*squeeeeee!!!* A cross-over! With "Protectors of the Realm"! OMG, how can this get more awesome? :) I am incredibly glad that you are back here, Ms_Figg. I loved what you did over at your new site and I am already very fond of your new characters, but I missed your HG/SS stories. It's great that you put them all in one story, because this way we readers can clearly see the differences between Severus and Artimus and between Hermione and Dahlia. Good work, as always. I'm hoping lemons are lurking already, I miss your style so much :)

Love, Deirdre

"as her broad nose pulsated as she breathed" You make her sound like a horse. imho 2 funny.

lol. Everyone's nose pulsates at one time or another. Or should I say their nostrils. Maybe I'll change that to read nostrils. rofl. I guess I just notice stuff like that.