rate_review Reviews

Good chapter! I'd lay odds that Beck must have been one of Severus's students at one time. I like the way you are slowly building a friendlier realtionship between them, and I like that he has found himself to be capable of compassion even better. I'm anxiously awaiting your next update.

Ch.3 - Aw, your Lupin is cute. I don't see him as cool at all, either; it baffles me when I read fanfics where he's a supersexy predatory wolf.

Is Madelyne really a Muggle? I can't believe it!

I love that you've branched out with Maddie and had her interact with the other professors. I think a lot of people forget to do that and it makes the story very unrealistic. It's horrible that she was obliviated but I can see how her grandmother would think that it was the right thing to do, to protect her. This chapter was really great and I'd offer my beta services but I've really got no experience besides beta'ing for myself, sorry.

I enjoyed the 'girls day out', next time they have one why don't you include Madame Hooch? She strikes me as a woman who knows how to have a good time and I've read several stories where she is the life of the party. I remember one in particular that had a bachelorette party for Snape's bride to be and the entertainment was a male stripper from the magical world's branch of Chippendales. Hooch ended the evening by pouring her wine in his navel and lapping it up. Minerva let her hair down at that party too and was stuffing knuts down his G-string. It was a real contrast to the party that Hagrid threw for Snape where all the men played exploding snap and wizard monopoly.

The paraphrase of the speech from Hamlet was a nice touch. I wonder if he was doing a little behind the scenes Legilimency before the formal session started. If he was he got a real eyefull and enough ego stroking to last him for a good while.

Pomona Sprout is a wise woman, it was just at this point that I began to wonder if someone had Obliviated her.

When Maddie mentioned the grouch and Sesame Street I was suddenly reminded of one of the funniest Snape pairings I have read, SS/MP (Snape and Miss Piggy).

Maddie certainly had a terrible mother, totally selfish and although she was blameless she did nothing to help Maddie. It's a shame her grandmother didn't have custody of her when she was a child.

I have one more term to add to the bumping nasties and making rauncy love, how about doing the horizontal tango?

Just read the first couple of instalments and will be reading the rest later. Maddie is an unsuspecting witch then, eh? At least Lupin is on the case - I wonder what her story will be. Will her little sister feature, or is she just a scene-setting device to show how sadly single Maddie is? I guess I'll find out when I read on!

That little twist was unexpected. I wonder if losing her memory is something she did to herself or something that was done to her. It should be interesting to find out!

The Captain Creepy bit made me laugh, I like the way you are taking this story. Her sister must have some more tangible memory of Maddie doing something weird and I'm sure her mother does. Somehow her mother controlled Maddie's mind enough to make her suppress and bury those memories.

The grammar is still improving, but remember it's 'drew a deep breath', not 'drew a deep breathe'. My email is marbil051568@verizon.net, send me yours and I will check with some friends to see if they can beta for you.

Very good chapter, I enjoyed reading it and I saw only one typo that needed to be corrected. It was 'furt animals' instead of 'furry animals'. I am intrigued by their spells to search inside of her to find her magic, and even moreso by what you said about Severus becoming much more involved.

The Latin spell is similar in meaning to the motto of the bomb group my father flew in during WW2. In English it was "Light is Truth out of Darkness". It wasn't very similar when in Latin, "ex tenebris lux veritatis". They used the Latin form on the emblem that was on the planes ans any other official item to identify the Bomb Group.

Well im enjoying this story quite a lot. i like your humour! It's a bit like mine. :) I have to say thank you for reveiwing my story and also that i knew i would like your story straight from the summary, so well done one capturing people's attention with just that alone. I hope you continue to write more, as i did find the third and fourth chapter a bit wobbly, but you picked it up easily with the fifth. Please update as soon as you can, i look forward to reading more.

Oh and if you're struggling slightly with the grammer, or any little mistakes like that, it's always good to have a beta even to just check check it over. I'm very grateful for mine hehe.

Wolfsoul

I wrote a review and tried to post it a few minutes ago, but for some reason it didn't show up so I'll rewrite it.

I wonder if he used Legillimency on her while he kept watch over her until Dumbledore returned? He is certainly attracted to her already and she is attracted to him. I expect they will both fight the attraction for a while until they give in to it. I hope that Lupin won't be part of a love triangle, Severus deserves a woamn who is only interested in him. Her feelings for any other man should be platonic.

This was better grammatically, but I noticed a problem with 'to/too', it should be 'too much' and not 'to much'. Also, breathe is the verb and breath is the noun. I'm giving you a link to a website I find indispensable. It's for "OneLook" a dictionary search engine that searches more than a thousand dictionaries. Just type in a word and it will list and give links to all the dictionaries that included the word. That page also gives a 'quick definition' that includes what part of speech the word is. I use it at least a half dozen times a day every day.

http://www.onelook.com/

I'm looking forward to your next chapter and waiting for the next update.